Nocturne
by BlackBird-1984
Summary: She raised my wrist to her mouth and her gleaming teeth sunk in to my skin... The smell of blood – my own blood – perfumed the air thickly with the scent of rust and bitter salt. An immense wave of nausea washed over me and everything became black...
1. Author's Note

Author's Note

This story takes place after Eclipse but before Breaking Dawn. It's my way of fulfilling my wish that there were more than four books in the series, and that the dynamic of Edward and Bella's relationship remained the same. I felt this change in Breaking Dawn and found that what had attracted me so much to the two character's love for each other was Edward's nature to protect her.

In Nocturne, the events that occurred in Eclipse cause Bella to have doubts about changing so soon. Edward manages to persuade her to continue her human life for a year longer before getting married and becoming a vampire. They both start attending Dartmouth College, which is where the story commences.


	2. Prologue

_Our doubts are traitors,_

_And make us lose the good we oft might win_

_By fearing to attempt_

~ William Shakespeare

Measure For Measure, Act I, Scene IV

...

PROLOGUE

They were late. My plan had backfired and I lay now, my body bloody and broken on the damp ground. If only Edward could see me now. Instead, she kneeled beside me, sobbing and gripping my hand tightly.

I couldn't move. The excruciating pain had faded now and I couldn't feel anything at all. So this was how I would die, in the end. It wasn't how I had imagined all this time. It wasn't how I had planned.

I wanted to turn my head. I wanted to tell her to stop crying over me. I wanted to tell her to just go ahead and do it. My vision began to blur and my heart beat dully in my chest. Faintly, softly. It would soon stop.

She seemed to hear this; the sound of my heart was becoming ever more faint. I watched her hesitate as darkness began to close around me. _Do it!_

She raised my wrist to her mouth and her gleaming teeth sunk in to my skin. Searing hot pain, like electricity, shot up from my wrist and through my arm, filling my body. But I had no more life in me to cry out. The smell of blood – my own blood – perfumed the air thickly with the scent of rust and bitter salt. An immense wave of nausea washed over me and everything became black.


	3. Another Year

1. ANOTHER YEAR

I was relieved when I looked out the window and was greeted by an overcast morning. Thick, grey clouds hung heavy in the sky, as the weatherman had predicted. It would be cloudy until the afternoon, when the sun would come out. I was relieved because I knew that he would be able to accompany me to my lectures; I wouldn't have to sit alone amongst the strangers surrounding me. Almost strangers, that is.

It was the second week into my first term at college. I was still kicking myself that he had persuaded me to remain human a little longer. And attend Dartmouth, one of the most prestigious colleges in the United States. A placement in one of its undergraduate programs was highly sought after; of some sixteen thousand national and international applications, just over six per cent were accepted. And one of them was me.

I knew that it wasn't really my doing; Edward had filled out my application on my behalf last year. I knew I shouldn't have let him talk me into this… this life. I only wanted to be with him, and I knew that I didn't need all of this. _If_ I had decided to change, then and there. Last year after all that happened with Victoria… but she was dead now. It was over. And my hesitations about changing had gotten the better of me.

Then there was Jacob, and Charlie and Renee to think about. I missed them so much; what I wouldn't give to see Jake's smile, his real smile, which beamed sunshine. He had been there for me, my light in the dark, despite fully knowing that I could never reciprocate his feelings. I wondered how he was doing, my fingers touching the charm he had given me last year, carved in the shape of a wolf. I wondered, also, how Charlie was coping without me – then I remembered how close he had become to Sue Clearwater and I was comforted.

Charlie hadn't been so excited when I announced that I'd been accepted into Dartmouth with Edward. For Charlie, staying with Edward meant trouble because of the many past incidents involving him and me winding up hurt or injured or both. Charlie didn't say it, but I could tell that he was worried about me being away from him for such a long time.

Renee had trembled with excitement over the phone when I told her about my college plans. But she said something that surprised me. "I can see how you feel about Edward," She'd said, "And no matter what happens, I trust you two completely. You're an intelligent young woman, Bella…I haven't been the greatest role model as a mother. Everything I've told you, all the advice I've given, that was for my own sake. I know you'll always make the right choices for _you_."

She couldn't know that I had already made my choice.

I loved them so much.

Heavy cold hands fell upon my shoulders from behind, breaking my reverie. They slid down my arms, caressing the skin softly as Edward pulled me closer to him, hugging me to his stone body. Goosebumps spread over my bare skin and I felt cold lips brush my ear. His smooth, angelic voice whispered to me. "Sleep well?"

I turned around. In the grey morning daylight, his skin was as pallid as ever. There was only a ghost of dark circles under his eyes, which were glowing golden and deep, fresh from a night of hunting. For Edward, the isolated rural location of Dartmouth in New Hampshire served perfectly for hunting the overpopulated animals in the bordering mountainous regions.

I melted instantly under his gaze, regarding his angelic face. Despite everything we had been through and how long we'd been together, my heart still beat faster and my breath managed to escape me when I looked at him. "You know it's never the same without you."

The corner of his lips turned upwards in a faint, smug smile. I knew he felt pleasure in hearing me say these things and I said them with all honesty. I didn't know what I would do if I didn't have him.

He leaned forward, his lips brushing against mine lightly at first. My heart fluttered and started beating faster. I drew my arms around his neck, leaning forward and crushing my lips against his. My lips parted and I met his cold tongue with my own, hot and moist, only briefly before he pulled back, unlocking my grip around his neck gently. He chuckled under his breath. "Breakfast first, then class."

I stuck out my lower lip, pouting. "You can be my breakfast."

Edward gave his crooked grin, my favourite. "You don't know how much I would love that, but you'll be late."

I rolled my eyes, pulling away from him and crossing my hands over my chest. "Must you always remind me?"

"I'll give you some human time." His hand reached up to caress my cheek. "I'll prepare eggs, anyway."

With that, he left the bedroom with silent footsteps. The moment he disappeared from the room, I let out a sigh, which no doubt he heard with his vampire super-hearing. He spoiled me too much. The more I bent to his wishes, the more I felt that we were out of balance. I loved him so much; I would die for him, and I had made the choice last year. But he had insisted and he had done all within his power to persuade me. Just another year, one more year of being a normal human girl, go to college… that way I wouldn't be _that_ girl who left high school and got married. I would, at the very least, be the _college_ girl who got married to her high school sweetheart. There was a huge difference.

I pulled my tank top over my head and got out of my pyjama bottoms, reaching for my towel and heading to the bathroom. When Edward had mentioned that the Cullens kept a residence near Dartmouth College, just in case, he hadn't been kidding. It was a loft-style four bedroom dwelling in a brick-red building that was once a wheat mill. Like their home back in Forks, it was bright and airy with high ceilings and windows that spanned down to the floors. The building lay on the outskirts of Etna, a small town in Hanover about 15 minutes away from the college.

I took a brief, hot shower, letting the scalding hot water relax me, before brushing my teeth and drying myself off. Wrapping the towel around me, I padded to the wardrobe which stood opposite the windows and stretched right across from wall-to-wall. When we had arrived, the clothes that had been waiting for me made my modest bag of personal belongings look like pieces of clothing scraps. Alice had taken it upon herself to populate the wardrobe with designer pieces, not that I cared about labels. I just wanted to be comfortable.

I pulled on my favourite pair of jeans – a must – and a cornflower blue v-neck t-shirt, preparing for the sunshine that would come later in the day. The overcast sky at the moment, though, warned me I would need a jacket. I decided to take a risk and took a black, soft leather cropped jacket from its hanger and pulled it over my t-shirt. I slid the mirrored wardrobe door shut and examined myself. Not too bad. I just needed to put some blush over my pale cheeks so I didn't appear sickly with my too-fair skin.

The smell of omelettes and freshly brewed coffee greeted me as I entered the kitchen and my stomach growled in response. Edward was perched on a barstool expectantly, statuesque and beautiful. The dark grey shirt he had on contrasted with his pale skin. With the sleeves pushed up to his elbows, I could make out the lean muscles of his forearms. I watched his eyes melt as I came toward him and he gave me a peck on the cheek. "You look lovely. Beautiful in the blue…and sexy in leather." He gave a devilish grin and my heart fluttered, yet again. It was a good way to wake up each morning, with him.

I took the stool next to him on the breakfast bar and began to eat, realising how hungry I was. Edward watched me. "I'm so happy that you decided to give it some more time, Bella. And accepting to go to Dartmouth with me."

I didn't say anything. I was still slightly annoyed that he had played dirty and used my reluctance of early marriage against me. My hesitations of becoming a newborn vampire only served to further enhance my feelings; I was unsure of whether I would still be me, and all of my doubts and fears had come crashing down like an avalanche.

I took another bite of perfectly seasoned omelette and swallowed it down with a mouthful of black coffee. "I just…I still feel bad about the costs. You know I'm going to pay you back right?"

Edward's eyes tightened a little. "That's not what I meant at all."

"No, I just wanted to let you know." I said. "I got a job at the bookstore."

"Please, Bella." Edward wrapped his arms around my waist. "You know it doesn't matter. You being with me, being able to experience college for the first time…only _you_ matter to me."

I put my fork down, biting my lip and tilted my face up to his. I quickly glancing up into his eyes before looking away again. If I stared into them too long, I would forget what I wanted to say. "Don't you realise that I gave that up when I met you. When I made the choice to be with you back in Forks, it was decided."

His voice was soft and even. "You don't know what you're saying, Bella…after what happened last year, you know now the full consequences of what changing will do to you, to your life. You need to think objectively; you need to experience more as a normal human before you completely commit yourself. Please, trust me."

I sighed. I understood what he meant, and I only wanted to make him happy. But I knew that it was only a matter of time before it happened. And it _would_ happen. But not right now. "Fine, but I _will_ pay you back."

Edward's eyes tightened and he looked away, out of the window. It felt like a victory.

I still didn't feel right about this situation. Being here with Edward, living in the Cullen's place, driving their car, having Edward pay my tuition. If marriage-after-high school was bad, being completely dependant on any man – no matter how kind, generous, handsome and loving – was almost as bad. I still felt that a part of me needed to be independent.

Getting a part-time job, at the college bookstore to boot, made me feel like I was doing something for myself. I knew Renee and Charlie would definitely agree, Charlie particularly.

I leaned forward suddenly, kissing him, taking him by surprise. My lips pressed against his cold mouth, smooth as stone. His honey-almond scent filled my senses. I pulled away, looking up to his eyes earnestly. "Thank you."

…

We drove to the college in the Volvo, making it in just over five minutes with Edward's maniacal driving. My cell buzzed in my bag – a message. I reached for it.

_Bella, it's Helena! Betty gave me ur no. Lecture's started get here soon! I saved you a seat. Third row on the right._

Crap! I looked at my schedule – my first lecture of the day started at nine in the morning, not nine thirty! And here I thought I was being early.

"Late?"

"Only just, if I run." I replied, gathering my notebook and diary and shoving them into my bag.

"I'll drop you off, then park. Save me a seat." Edward swerved to the left in the direction that would take me closest to my building. The car came to a stop and I opened the door to get out. Before I could bolt, Edward called me back softly. "Bella,"

I turned around. His face was close to mine and his cold, sweet breath wafted toward me as his molten amber eyes looked into mine. "Be careful, don't trip."

I breathed out, almost in irritation. "I'll try." I remembered the first time he said this. I had been so annoyed. This time, I decided to counteract my annoyance with a smile because I knew he meant well. "See you soon."

Edward smiled back at me in response and I got out and closed the car door shut before turning and starting toward the lecture hall.

…

I knew it was a bad idea. Running, that is. Across the flat paved concrete, there were no obstacles in the way, but my balancing problems always found a way to trip me. And I did so spectacularly, amongst the many onlookers, fellow college students going about their business. I knew it wasn't high school, that they wouldn't laugh at me, at my embarrassing problem. But I knew some would. My cheeks were scarlet as I pushed myself up from the concrete.

"Dammit!" I cursed softly to myself. I should have known better. I'd might as well miss my lecture altogether, but English Literature was a subject that I held dear in my heart, along with Edward.

"Oh my god, are you okay?"

A shadow came over me, the shadow of someone who had actually expressed their concern. It was a female voice, low and soft, chiming like bells, too rhythmic and entrancing to be human. I looked up to the source of the voice.

My instinct had been wrong. She had olive skin and wide almond-shaped eyes that were not golden or red, but hazel flecked with purple and green. Her heart-shaped face was framed with light-brown hair that was cut in a bob with bangs that had been swept to the side. She looked normal enough – human enough – yet there was still something about her that I couldn't quite place.

I pulled myself up, brushing the palms of my hands together. They stung as I did this; I had scraped them on the concrete, but I'd had worse. "Yeah, I'm totally fine. Sometimes I have trouble with my own feet, that's all."

"Are you a freshman here too?" She asked.

"Yeah. Actually, I'm really late for my lecture. Thanks, though."

"You dropped this." The girl said. She held out my diary. It was then that I noticed what was on her wrist – a scar. Something that seemed to me so familiar. It was a pale half-moon scar, almost identical to mine. I would recognise it anywhere.

At the exact same moment the sun burst briefly through a break in the overcast sky and for only a second, her scar shimmered like diamonds in the sunlight.

I'm sure she had noticed my hesitation. The way my gaze lingered down on her wrist just a little too long. She immediately drew back, unsure of what to say. I instantly had an urge to show her mine, as if to compare battle scars.

"Emmy!" A voice interrupted.

The voice was like chimes in a breeze, higher in pitch than this girl's. The source, another girl, caught up to her side. "There you are!"

I was immediately taken aback. They looked exactly the same – their features were identical, the same almond shaped eyes and heart shaped face. But unlike the other girl, her skin was extremely pale and her eyes burned a deep amber. The dark circles under them made her look fatigued, but she bounded up to the girl's side with energy and inhuman grace. Her hair was longer, past her shoulders and without the bangs. I frowned. I knew what this meant, but couldn't understand how.

The girl – her twin, I guessed – turned towards me with an expression of surprise on her face. "Well, hi there!"

The friendliness in her voice was all I needed. I knew that they wouldn't hurt me. But I couldn't be too sure. Edward had always said that I was a magnet for trouble.

"Hi. I'm Bella." I held out my hand to be shaken, a token of friendship. Or a test.

The first girl, the one called Emmy, took it and shook it briefly. Her own palm was warm, human, with a gentle grasp. "I'm Emiline. I prefer Emmy though."

Her twin waved a hand in response. I took a mental note of this as my own hand fell to my side. "I'm Josephine, but you can call me Jo."

"Have we made some new friends?"

I would have recognised that voice anywhere. Edward, having parked the car and raced up to meet me to make sure I hadn't harmed myself on the way to class, came up behind me. He put his arm around my waist, pulling me close to him.

I watched the girls' eyes widen in surprise, taking in his pallid skin tone, golden eyes and gleaming teeth. I knew that they would guess what he was, and they would know that they were alike. The other one though – the human twin – I just wasn't sure of. I was dying to know what Edward could hear of their minds.

"You're –" The pale twin started.

"Edward." He replied, his voice wary and hesitant, but not completely hostile. I took it as a good sign. "Pleased to meet you. I've never met another like us before here. The only other clan who share our way of life is in Alaska."

Tanya's clan.

"So you are like us." Josephine breathed. "We've never met another one before... only one other."

There was a pause. Edward's eyes tightened, his body still. It seemed that the mention of this person stirred something between the girls, something that Edward read with narrowed eyes and tensed muscles. The girls didn't seem to notice this, but I could certainly see that it had bothered him.

I used the silence to ask the question that had been burning in my mind. "What happened to your wrist?"

Emiline hesitated. "It's... it's a long story."

Her voice did sound melodic, similar in intonation to her sister's, but her healthy skin and hazel eyes threw me off.

Edward interrupted. "I'm sorry, we would love to stay and chat with you, but we're late for our lecture. I'm sure you understand."

Josephine nodded. "Of course, but please, contact us again."

Emiline nodded in agreement. "Yes, those of our kind must stick together."

I frowned. Did that mean that she _was_ a vampire? I watched the twins depart, striding towards the direction of the libraries and whispering rapidly to each other. I looked at Edward inquisitively. He was still concentrating, listening to what they were saying despite them being out of my own hearing range.

"What are they?"

"You're late." Edward replied grimly, gripping my arm and pulling me toward the lecture hall. Why couldn't he tell me now? I could only follow him meekly, knowing that I was powerless compared to his strength. Questions were burning inside my mind, two twins, one a vampire, and the other seeming human. What could have happened to them?


	4. Encounters

2. ENCOUNTERS

We weren't too late into the lecture. I found Helena, just as she had told me, seated in the third row to the right near the far wall. She smiled at me, her clear blue eyes lighting up at having found someone familiar to sit next to.

We met only a week ago when, embarrassingly but typically, I'd tripped on my way towards the back of the same lecture hall and the contents of my bag had spilled out, scattering themselves across the grey carpet. When Helena helped me then, I knew I had made my first friend at college. In a lot of ways, she reminded me of Angela Weber from high school. She was quiet, studious and had a passion for literature. She seemed very intelligent, having gotten accepted into Dartmouth on her own merit without having the knowledge of a century or so old boyfriend to apply on her behalf. But there was also a streak of happy confidence in her that she emitted where ever she went.

Helena whispered to me. "I'm so glad you made it. I was afraid you'd skip. Did you get my text?"

I nodded. Her eyes flickered to Edward and I watched her as they widened, taking in his features; his other-worldly looks and grace, before quickly glancing away, slightly uneasy about something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

"This is Edward, my...fiancé." It still felt strange to say that. I felt his hand close over mine.

She smiled at him. "Nice to meet you. I'm Helena."

Edward smiled politely. I noticed a faint glimmer of amusement in his eyes; he was listening to her thoughts. I could only guess what they were.

I pulled out my notebook and tried to concentrate on what the professor was saying. But instead, the questions I had racing in my mind about the twins were nagging me. Instead of taking notes, I began to write.

_Please tell me what happened back there. What did you hear about them? What happened to them? I only guessed that one of them – Josephine – is a vampire, but Emiline is not. But then, I saw that she has a scar like mine on her wrist. And her voice is like a vampires's. Tell me what you heard._

I pushed my notebook towards Edward. He scanned it quickly, taking only a few seconds to read what I had written. He reached for the pen in my hand and began to write in his own calligraphic script.

_I was __very__ worried about you when I caught their scent and heard their minds. I ran as fast as I could but there were humans in my presence. I've never met another vampire in this area before, let alone attending college amongst all these people._

_I followed their scent; knowing you, they'd probably gravitated to you like a magnet. Josephine is a vampire, you're right. I'm not sure about Emiline; she confuses me and it's difficult to hear her. I can only hear glimpses. It seems Josephine is like us, she only hunts animals. They used to be with another vampire, the one who had changed them. They seem to have separated now, but I didn't hear how; they had a violent fight that caused the separation._

_They seem friendly enough, but I don't want to take any risks. I don't want you hurt, especially here. I don't want you hurt ever again._

He pushed my notebook back so I could read the rest of his response. I glanced up to his eyes, filled with concern and burning with honesty, and melted into its amber depths.

_1...2...breathe...remember to breathe_, I reminded myself.

I understood how he must have felt. Coming upon the scent of an unknown vampire, hearing me talk to them from afar yet being unable to run as fast as he could with other people around.

I sighed. I should have just kept to myself so that he shouldn't have been so worried. I was too careless for my own good. Looking away, I flipped over my notebook to a new page and turning my concentration towards the professor as Edward leaned closer to softly stroke my hand.

…

I slept fitfully that night and awoke often with my heart racing. My fingers stretched out across the bed, reaching for Edward who lay beside me. His cold fingers had stroked my hair tenderly and he softly hummed my lullaby while my heavy eyes closed once again. The dreams I had that night came to me in vast expanses of darkness, enveloping and almost suffocating me. I knew it was a dream, because despite the dark there was a strong sense of lucidity about it. It was like I was trapped in my own body. I wanted to scream and thrash my arms out, do _something_, but it was impossible.

When I woke up to the dull morning light, all I could remember was one scene that had arisen from the darkness.

I was lying in our meadow back in Forks, the grass damp and soft beneath me. Through closed eyelids, the sun shone red down on me, warming my skin. There was someone lying next to me and instinctively, I knew that it was Edward.

He stroked my cheek softly, running a cold finger down my jaw and across the side of my neck, raising goose bumps. A contented moan escaped my throat and I opened my eyes to look at him. Then I froze.

It wasn't Edward.

My vision had taken the blurry haze of dreams. This person's features were out of focus and all I could make out were his dark, thirsty eyes and a face framed with black hair, contrasting against pale skin that dazzled my eyes in the sun. There was something terrifyingly menacing about him that betrayed his beauty. His long, thin fingers stroked my face, yet I was unable to pull away in fear, as much as the feeling engulfed me.

"Shh…" He said softly through perfect, glinting teeth.

I couldn't move. That same feeling that I had in the darkness came over me and my body felt heavy, unwilling to heed any command to move.

My heart beat faster as he brought his nose inches to my throat, breathing in deeply with closed eyes.

"Your scent is delectable." He whispered in my ear, smoothly, almost seductively. "It betrays your beauty."

I tried to gasp for air, to make a sound, to do _something_. But to no avail. He chuckled softly under his breath. "No, I can't have you now…but I _will_ have you."

Suddenly and unwillingly, my body became hot. I couldn't fight the sensation that I felt now; desperation and fear arose inside me, yet there was an urge for him to keep touching me, stroking my skin in different places…

"No!" I screamed, bolting upright into a sitting position. I was gasping for air, my breathing short and sharp and my heart thrummed loudly in my chest. I was hot and sweaty underneath the blankets and I threw them off me, lying back onto my pillow. I inhaled slowly, trying to steady my breath.

"Bella?" Edward shifted closer and wrapped his arms around me, pulling me to his chest. His cool body relieved the feverish heat of my own.

"I had a dream."

Cold fingers touched lightly at my forehead. "You've been talking all night, then you stopped. You almost stopped breathing. I was just about to wake you."

I looked up at him and into his eyes. "It seemed so real… I was in the meadow, _your_ meadow, and I thought you were with me. But it was someone else."

His fingers froze mid-stroke, waiting for me to continue.

"I couldn't move at all. He said something like…" I tried to remember. "…He couldn't have me now…but he would."

I couldn't make out the expression in his eyes as he pulled me closer to him. I shivered in his icy embrace, but felt comforted and secure close to him as the terror of my nightmare began to fade.

"Shh now, Bella…" Edward whispered, stroking my hair. "It was only a dream."

…

"So, Bella," Helena began. We were seated in the dining hall after class to pass the time until my first shift at the bookstore. The sun was shining and Edward had headed home before his night classes. I hated being away from him.

I looked up from my plate of pasta salad. Helena continued. "You didn't tell me you were engaged! And Edward is so handsome!"

I shrugged. "Yeah, I still kick myself sometimes when I think about it. It's a bit surreal."

"Were you in the same high school?"

"Yeah, we met when I moved back to Forks…" I replied as memories began flashing before my eyes. That first day, sitting with him in Biology, his chair positioned as far as possible to the edge of the table. His knuckles white and his muscles tense as he strained to control himself with all his power.

Helena sighed. "You're lucky you were both accepted into Dartmouth. My boyfriend and I – I mean, my _ex_-boyfriend – he decided to stay back home and attend the community college there."

I nodded, spearing some salad into my mouth. "That's just too bad."

"Well, you know, we had our differences. I guess I just wanted to get out of that small town, do something different." She put her sandwich down, looking up at me, and smiled. I could tell that she wanted to put forth an air of confidence, but her smile didn't reach her blue eyes. There was a hint of sadness there.

"There you are!" A voice interrupted us. A petite Asian girl, Betty, slid into the unoccupied seat next to us. She had a thin face and large eyes framed with thick eyelashes. Long, gleaming black hair fell past her shoulders. "I'm so sorry I skipped yesterday. I was so tired."

"I can imagine, working late like that. I don't know what you're going to do once the assignments and exams start coming in." Helena chimed.

"Don't worry about me, I've got it covered." Betty took a swig of the coffee she had brought with her.

"Where exactly do you work?" I asked her.

"Rudy's." Betty replied. "It's a café in town."

At that moment something in the corner of my eye caught my attention – someone. It was Emiline on her way out of the dining hall. For a moment, I watched her, marvelling at her beauty. Her skin radiated an almost unnatural healthy glow and her stride was confident yet graceful. Josephine was nowhere near her and I could guess why.

I immediately grabbed my things and leapt up from the table. "I'll see you guys later."

"Wait, Bella!" Helena chimed in.

I turned to her.

"This weekend's the big party weekend for freshmen. You're coming, right?" Helena asked.

"You have to, it's tradition!" Betty added.

Parties, let alone _big_ parties...no, I'd had enough of them. My forehead wrinkled with anxiety at the thought. "I don't know. I don't think so."

Betty and Helena's hopeful expressions fell. I felt a pang of guilt. "Look, I'll see. I'll call you."

"Great!" Helena chirped.

"Ciao, Bella!" Betty said, winking, before I turned and hurried out of the hall. I swung my bag over my shoulder, pushing the heavy glass door aside. I was hoping to catch Emiline before she disappeared.

"Bella."

I recognised her voice behind me. I turned around. She was standing to the side of the entrance in the shade of the building, as if expecting me.

I started towards her. "I was hoping to talk to you."

She bit her lip, hesitant.

"That scar on you have," I continued, glancing down at her wrist. I pulled back my own sleeve and held my wrist up for her to see. "Look at this."

Her eyes widened. Her hand reached out, touching the pale, ridged skin, feeling the cool temperature of the scar tissue there, a souvenir that James had left behind. Her voice was soft. "What happened to you?"

"It was another vampire...a few years ago." I explained. "He tracked me. He bit me."

"But you're not..."

I shook my head. "No. It was Edward who saved me. He sucked the venom out."

"I didn't know that was possible." She murmured, looking away. I watched her carefully, urging her on.

"I should have become one myself. I was bitten a long time ago, when Jeremy tried to change me. I was dying, but it didn't happen. To this day, I don't know why." Her expression and the tone of her voice took on a bitter edge. "I don't even know what I am. We both gave up searching for answers a long time ago."

I finally realised the nagging feeling I had about her. She was a mystery, this Emiline. Both of them were. I had questions I wanted to ask, but I knew that the more answers I got, the more questions I would have.

"Tell me, Emiline." I began, careful in choosing my words. "You're strong, you have these heightened senses, and you're fast, like your sister. But you can show yourself in the sunlight."

Emiline nodded. "I'm not as strong, and I sleep once in a while. I haven't aged, either."

My heart skipped a beat and my cheeks flushed scarlet. I couldn't believe it! Here I was, nineteen – two years older than Edward – and there was this girl standing before me who had the extraordinary benefits of being a vampire, without hardly being a vampire at all. It wasn't fair!

I pushed these thoughts aside. It was immature to think that way. I had only just met her and she didn't deserve any jealousy on my part. She seemed confused and in need of help. I regained myself.

"Do you – do you still..." I hesitated.

She looked at me, seeming to know what I wanted to ask.

"You know... thirst?"

She laughed, her laughter pealing like bells. "No, thank god! I eat normally, like a human. Like you."

She smiled at me. There was a glimmer there, a hope of friendship. I smiled back.

…

My first shift at Dartmouth Bookstore was slow. I was assigned to follow Patricia around, who had been working there since her first year at college. She didn't seem to need to fill any awkward silence with small talk, which suited me perfectly. I watched her as she went about the store, showing me how it was laid out, where things were kept in the store room and going through the computer system to make a sale. Then I followed her around to see how she worked. It seemed easy enough. Towards the end of my shift, a long line at the counter had formed and I had made a few sales myself.

I was immensely proud of myself, aside from constantly whacking my shoulders on the ends of the bookshelves. In fact, my thoughts had been immersed in something completely different throughout the duration of my first shift.

Maybe there was a way to change, but not completely. Wasn't Emiline proof of that? She had all the aspects of being a vampire, yet was human at the same time. Although she wasn't as strong, she had the same heightened senses and she didn't need to feed on blood. Or age.

Maybe there was a solution. She had said so herself that she had meant to change. But something in her had stopped that. And I was desperate to know why, and how.

I finished up at nine thirty and called Edward to pick me up. I knew that he would be here within minutes, having finished his night class at the same time. I waited outside a short distance away from the curb. My breath came out in a thin white haze. It was chilly. I looked up.

The sky hung dark and heavy with stars. I noticed the shape of the moon, a perfect crescent, thin and glowing like the scar on my wrist. I touched the scar tissue there, feeling the bumpy contrast against my otherwise smooth skin when the Volvo pulled up in front of me and the passenger door swung open. I climbed into the warm car gratefully.

I was glad to be back with him again. My heart skipped a beat when I looked at him smiling up at me; the smile of an angel. I felt secure being with him, it was like nothing else mattered but us. "Hi."

"Greetings, _ma belle_." he brushed his lips to my cheek, raising goose bumps down the back of my neck, before pressing down on the accelerator and pulling away from the curb. "How was work?"

"Thanks for picking me up."

"I wouldn't leave you alone in the cold, dark night, would I?" Edward asked. Obviously, it was a rhetorical question.

I fell silent. My thoughts turned back to Emiline and I bit my lip, resting my elbow against the window of the car door. My heart began to beat faster as I thought about it. Maybe there _was_ a way for me…

"Bella," his tender voice interrupted my thoughts, calling me back. I looked up at him. "I asked you how your first day at work was."

I felt a pang of guilt. I had been too immersed in my own thoughts that I had forgotten to answer his question. I regretted this immediately; he would know that something was up.

"It was fine. Really good, actually. I was assigned to work with someone called Patricia, who was really, really nice…" I trailed off.

Edward smiled. I realised now, why. Perhaps he thought that me getting a job was a way of saying that I wanted to commit to staying human.

"It will do, for now." I added quickly.

His smile disappeared. I was constantly reminding him of my decision to change. He wouldn't get his way forever.

I stayed silent as he pulled into the driveway and watched him as his expression suddenly changed. He frowned, his eyes flickering toward the house.

I immediately knew that something was wrong. He turned off the engine, getting out of the drivers seat without a word and in a split second, appeared next to my door, opening it.

"We have some visitors."

I was surprised. Carlisle and Esme were still back in Forks, with Carlisle working at the hospital. Having done Africa, Emmett and Rosalie were now somewhere in Asia. Which only left Alice and Jasper, sending my hopes sky high. "Who?"

Edward held out his hand to pull me up from the car seat, taking my bag and leading me to the front door of the house. He paused, grasping the door handle, and pushed without unlocking it. It swung open.

The lights flicked on as Edward led me to the living room and a high, melodic voice burst out. "Bella!"

"Alice!" Glee flooded me as Alice bounded across the living room, her short black hair bouncing around her shoulders, and pulled me into a close hug. Behind her, I smiled at Jasper in greeting. "It's so good to see you guys. What are you doing here?"

Alice pulled away and began to speak quickly, almost nervously. "Well, you know I just wanted to see how you two were doing here, I mean, yeah it's been two weeks but I was bored back in Forks so I figured it'd be good if Jasper and I…"

She trailed off.

"It's nice of you to be so concerned, Alice. It's good to see you both as well." Edward spoke, but his brow was furrowed suspiciously. "Please, I don't think you came all the way here just to ask how we were doing."

She must have been hiding her thoughts well. Alice paused, glancing at Jasper who was seated on the sofa. When she turned back, I was surprised at the uncertainty on her face. Next to me, Edward took in a sharp breath, the air hissing between his teeth. I twisted my head to see his face and froze when I saw the fury in his eyes.

"Bella," Alice spoke slowly, cautiously. "You're okay, right?"

My eyebrows furrowed and I nodded. "Of course, why?"

She paused, biting her perfect round bottom lip. "I had a vision and I was worried, that's all. I thought we'd just come and…check up on how you two were doing here."

Alice took my hand, leading me to the sofa. She glanced up at Edward and he nodded. He turned to me. "We'll be right back, Bella."

Jasper got up and followed silently as Edward made his way back out the front door. What was going on?

I turned to Alice. "Tell me everything."

"You know that my visions aren't set in stone, right?" Alice began tentatively. "That they only become the future when the subject finally makes their decision."

I nodded.

"You've met the twins already, haven't you?"

"Yesterday, and today. Emiline and Josephine." I explained. "What does this have to do with your vision?"

"I was afraid of this." Alice leaned back on the couch, deep in thought. "I wasn't sure whether to come or not, because the vampire in my vision keeps changing his mind. He doesn't know if he should go through with his plans."

The dream I had last night flashed before my eyes. Somehow, I knew that the vampire in my dreams and the vampire that Alice had seen was the same one. I don't know how.

"I think that you meeting with them set off a chain reaction. He's bound to come soon if he decides to track them down." Alice speculated.

"What did this vampire look like?" I pressed her. I wanted to know if what I was thinking was true.

"He was tall, with dark hair." Alice said. It was a vague description, but it confirmed my suspicions.

"Alice, I had this dream last night –"

Before I could finish, I heard the front door open and a moment later, Edward and Jasper strode back into the living room. Emiline and Josephine trailed behind them. I marvelled again at how identical, yet different, they appeared.

Alice jumped up. The moment she did, her eyes clouded over and her expression took a dream-like state. My eyes flickered to Edward. He was frowning at whatever Alice was seeing, his eyes narrowed.

Jasper broke the silence, turning to the girls, speaking quietly. "Like Edward and myself, Alice also has a special ability. She sees visions of the future."

_Vampire 101: Introduction to the Cullens_, I thought.

Alice's eyes snapped back to the present. "That would be _great_!"

The girls seemed taken aback by her outburst. As frustrating as it was, I was used to these sorts of conversations now. I turned to Edward. "Please explain for the human and non-telepathic."

Edward exhaled loudly, a sound evident with disapproval. "She saw that _one_ of them would become part of the family."

I frowned. "And the other?"

Edward shrugged.

Alice turned to Josephine. "_You_ must be Jo."

Jo nodded, cautious. "That's correct. This is my sister, Emmy."

Alice's eyes flickered to Emiline, who had remained quiet all this time. Her eyebrows furrowed; she was incredulous as her eyes roved over her body, examining her from head to toe. She glanced at Jasper for a second, then back at Emiline. "Who did this to you?"

I was confused. What was she talking about?

Then Emiline shrugged off her jacket and I gasped. The day we met, she had been wearing long sleeves and a scarf, which wasn't unusual due to the weather. I had only seen just the _one_ bite mark, pale and ridged against her otherwise tan and smooth skin. I now saw that her skin was riddled with these pale half-moon scars that extended from the sides of her throat and down her arms. Under her clothes, they were probably all over her body. Emiline's eyes locked into mine and they were heavily shrouded with shame. She looked away and came to sit by my side on the sofa.

Josephine followed her, sitting on the end and Alice resumed her seat on my other side.

Emiline began to speak. "The vampire you're watching for is Jeremy. Like you, he has a special ability."

"Jeremy has a way of controlling others, humans especially." Josephine continued. "He doesn't feed solely on human blood, he feeds on animals as well. He's not entirely comfortable with the unnecessary loss of human life."

I looked at Edward. He stood completely still, like a statue, watching me closely, observing my reactions and reading my expressions.

Emiline continued. "It was Jeremy who did this to me. You see, I never completely became a full vampire. I'm still human, in a way. We don't know why.

"When Jeremy tried to change me, he found that he had grown stronger when he'd had my blood. When I still hadn't changed, he tried it again. Because of the way he could control us, me particularly, my blood gave him the strength to keep both of us under his power. Yet I remained unchanged; even though I gained some abilities, he continued to…have me.

"He'd been feeding on me for years…for decades." Emiline finished, her eyes downcast.

I shivered. I could only imagine the horrors that she had been through, being feasted upon time and time again. Being powerless, her body unwilling to move no matter how desperate and scared she was inside…

"About twenty years ago, we were able to get away. I tore his limbs from his body and scattered them in different places." Josephine said.

"But you didn't burn them." Edward's voice was grave, more of a statement than a question. There was a rage in his eyes that scared me.

Josephine shook her head.

"It's the only way you can destroy a vampire." Jasper explained. "The parts of his body will eventually find themselves again. He'll come back."

"He already has." Alice said.

The twins exchanged alarmed looks.

"In my vision, I saw that _you_," she nodded towards Emiline, "Led Bella into the woods to him. He bit her, but she didn't change as she normally would. She was like you."

Emiline was confused. "That's impossible..."

"You bit her first."

The room became silent.

I didn't know what to say. What did this mean? That their old friend, Jeremy, would find them soon and then find me? That he would _want_ me as his own, as he'd had Emiline...like a slave? How many of these vampires were out there, how many more would want to target me?

Anger and frustration began to bubble within me and I leaned forward, my hands balled into fists. Why me? Then my mind went back two steps. Alice had seen Emiline bite me before Jeremy. That was how I could be like _her_!

My heart began to race at my revelation and I stood abruptly.

"I'm sorry I had to come like this, Bella." Alice was apologetic. I turned to her.

"No, Alice, you know what this means?" I started, excited. "I can change, but I could be like Emiline. I don't have to be a _full_ vampire. All she has to do is bite me!"

I stopped when I saw Emiline's face. There was an expression of pure horror there; the colour of her face was almost green.

Josephine laid a hand gently on her knee and tilted her head up, her sad eyes flickering to mine. She spoke softly. "Bella, please don't ask her of this. She's been through so much..."

Guilt washed over me. Of course, I was so stupid, so selfish to even suggest it.

I sat back down. "I'm sorry. I didn't realise..."

Jasper cleared his throat. "We must discuss what will happen now. We don't know as yet when Jeremy will make his final decision. There is a chance that it will be no, and that will be that."

"And what if it's yes?" Edward interrupted. His voice was controlled and even. "I don't want to take any chances and risk Bella getting hurt again. Jeremy has a strong gift. I can't allow him to come close to her."

"So you can change me right now," I voiced. I was angry now; everything that had happened in the past was because I was human, wasn't it? That could all change, right now.

"We're not having this discussion." Edward growled. "We agreed on this, and I won't do it, not here."

"You're not the only one who can change me."

Edward turned to Alice, glaring at her. "You wouldn't dare."

"It's a good option, Edward... think about it." Alice replied.

He snorted, shaking his head and looking away.

"No, Edward's right. We can't do it right now, not here." Jasper interrupted. "We'll need to go far, away from any humans."

"Wait," Josephine piped up. "We can separate."

Emiline watched her sister, nodding. "Exactly. That way, when Jeremy comes looking for us, there won't be a chance that he'll run into Bella."

I frowned, almost in dismay. "But what will happen to you when he finds you?"

Josephine shrugged. "I defeated him once...I can do it again. And I'll be sure to burn the pieces this time."

"We can't let you deal with it alone." Alice said. "We're all in this now – we've got to stick together."

…

I could hear the sound of their soft voices wafting through the open door from the living room, discussing strategy and tactics. Lying on the bed in the dark, my heart was sinking heavily into my chest. There _was_ a way to change and become like Emiline...but it could never happen. I supposed the decades of torture had traumatised her beyond understanding...I couldn't ask her to do it for me. I hardly knew her; there was no reason why she would. Furthermore, they didn't know exactly why she hadn't transformed into a full vampire. It was a mystery, and as such, it was risky.

I heard the door close softly. In the darkness, I could make out Edward's silhouette as he sat on the bed beside me, lying down carefully so that his movements wouldn't disturb the bed. His skin was pale grey in the moonlight. I could feel his eyes on me.

I pulled the blankets tightly around my shoulders and snuggled closer to him, inhaling his sweet scent and letting my head swim in it. He laid his arm around me lightly over the blankets, resting it across my shoulder.

I lifted my head, searching for his lips. With mine, I traced the smooth, marble skin on his neck, up to his jaw. I kissed him softly and he kissed me back, a sigh escaping his lips. I let my tongue slip between them.

There was that sensation again, making me hot under the blankets. But this time I knew it was of my own accord. I wiggled my body closer to his, lifting my free arm out from underneath the covers and grasping the back of his neck, weaving my fingers through his hair as our kiss became more passionate.

More desperate.

I expected him to break away then. But he didn't. In a fluid movement, he pulled the blankets away and pulled me gently from my side and onto my back, rolling me over. He crouched over me, carefully, supporting his weight with his right hand.

His eyes were gazing into mine intensely as the fingertips of his free hand traced the shape of my mouth, moving down my neck, then my throat. And further down, still. His touch was light and uncertain as he slid his hand underneath my top.

Once again, goose bumps broke over my bare skin. His touch was cold and delicious at the same time. I didn't want him to stop as he brought his lips down to mine, kissing me passionately again. I felt his cold tongue in my mouth and I met it eagerly. I slid both hands beneath his shirt, feeling the marble skin of his back smooth under my palms.

He broke away, his eyes closed as he brought his nose down to my throat, inhaling deeply and moving slowly down the length of my neck. The tip of his nose was like ice against my hot skin.

"Bella…" His voice was soft, tortured. In the darkness, I could see his tormented eyes, a shade darker than the other day when they had glowed golden amber. "This is my fault."

I sat up, leaning on my elbows. "What do you mean?"

He looked away. "I've realised that it's not _you_ who attracts the danger. It's all _me_. As much as I don't want you hurt, it's inevitable, it's my very nature that attracts danger and I've been selfish to ask you to come here. To even want you to still be with me."

I shook my head, my heart racing. My chest suppressed shudder. "Don't say things like this, Edward, _please._ I _want_ to be with you, it's _my_ choice, not yours."

He was silent. The all-too familiar feeling of loneliness and despair came over me, pressing against my chest and left me gasping for air. Tears pooled in my eyes. "_Please…_don't leave me…_ever again_."

"I'm not going to leave you, Bella." Edward reassured me, brushing the tears from my cheeks. "After all we've been through, I'll never leave you again."

I began to calm down, my heartbeat steadying.

"We'll deal with this. We're all staying, and if Jeremy shows up, we'll be ready."

I should have guessed it. Evasiveness was not the Cullen strategy. What would be will be...with their abilities combined, Alice, Edward and Jasper were a force to be reckoned with.

We had been through worse and one lone vampire wouldn't stand a chance.


	5. Complications

3. Complications

Weeks passed and the leaves of the trees turned rusty orange, quickly withering to brown. The sky was constantly overcast with cloud and it began to rain almost everyday. The weather reminded me of home, of Forks. Of Charlie's house, my room and my red truck. It made me melancholy, but I was also glad at the same time, as Edward would finally be able to come out during the day more often.

Alice and Jasper remained, and with Edward they took turns to watch the house and its surrounds at night time, just in case. At times, they would be accompanied by one or both of the twins, who had grown closer to us, though they never spoke of their past and only offered information about Jeremy if they thought it would be helpful. I was racked with anxiety and scared to fall asleep at night, afraid that I would dream about that vampire in the meadow again.

During class, I was there in body but my mind was elsewhere. I only managed to scrape by; I'd expected this of myself though. I knew that I wouldn't be good enough for Dartmouth. It didn't matter anyway, what good would it do once I became a vampire? I would have all the time in the world then.

Helena and Betty had both noticed my absent-mindedness and had become frustrated. They'd stopped inviting me out on weekends, knowing that my answer would be no. The final straw came when Betty called me on a Wednesday evening. I'd been sitting in the study all afternoon trying to sort through all the assignments and homework that had built up over the past few weeks. Edward was lying completely still on the leather couch, moving only to turn a page of his book every few minutes.

The Friday coming was Dartmouth Night, when Homecoming celebrations began, starting with speeches and the traditional dash around the bonfire by the first years.

Betty gave an exasperated sigh on the other end of the line. "C'mon Bella, what's the point of attending college if you're not going to get into the spirit?"

"I've just got a lot going on, that's all." I explained, feeling guilty that this was the fifth time that I had rejected her invitation out.

I hooked my phone against my ear with my shoulder, sorting through all my lecture notes. "You know, I'm not really in the mood for running around a crackling bonfire a hundred or so times. Not to mention in front of all those people."

I could almost hear Betty's eyeballs rolling in their sockets over the phone, but she had a point, and there was a reason why I'd agreed to a further year of life. But then again…"Large crowds, drinking…it's not really my thing."

She gave a frustrated growl. "Fine, but if you change your mind, call me. We'll run together."

"Sure, see ya."

The phone clicked silent and I folded my cell shut, casting it aside onto the oak desk.

"She's right." Edward sat up, putting his book down. "I wanted you to experience college as a normal person. What good is it if you're not having any fun?"

"I don't need it, Edward." I sighed, leaning my elbows on the desk and rubbing my temples. "I've got all this work due, I'm working over the weekend and the whole _Jeremy_ thing is really notching up my stress levels."

"It will be fine. Alice and Jasper are going and Alice would see if something were to happen. We can afford to loosen up a little."

I raised my eyebrows. "You're not forcing me."

"It _is_ tradition. And it's a lot of fun; it will probably be the most memorable experience of your time here."

I pinched the bridge of my nose, feeling my temples throb. _Fun for who?_ I thought to myself.

…

I had no idea how big it was going to be. The entire expanse of the green was filled with people, and not just those returning to college – friends, family, college staff and alumni surrounded the enormous wooden hexagonal structure built especially for the event.

Betty pulled on my arm excitedly, jumping up and down. "This is amazing, right?"

I looked at her. Her face was lit up with excitement; her enthusiasm was even beginning to rub off on me. "This is great."

"We're _so_ glad you could make it, you guys. It'll be an awesome night." Helena chimed.

"We wouldn't miss it for the world." Edward said.

Dusk had fallen quickly and it had grown chilly. I zipped up my jacket, shoving my hands deep in its pockets. I should have worn gloves.

"They're lighting it in a few minutes." Edward spoke in my ear, his hands chafing the sides of my arms. I shivered.

Along with all the adults that filled the green, hundreds of seniors surrounded us, cheering the first years on loudly.

Alice sidled beside Edward, grasping Jasper firmly by arm, holding him close to her. I noticed the tense way he held his body, his lips pursed tightly. His eyebrows knitted together in concentration. It must have been difficult for him to be around this many people. The revellers surrounding us, pressing close to us, surpassed a full lunch room at Forks High School a hundred times over. I looked over at Edward, whose face remained blank but I was certain that he was keeping tabs on his brother.

"Oh, good, they haven't lit it yet. This is huge!" Alice said.

It was so cold that the tip of my nose had become like ice and began to run. I sneezed, sniffing.

Alice, Jasper and Edward's heads turned to me simultaneously. I reeled back, uncomfortable under their gaze. "What, you've never heard anyone sneeze before?"

Alice giggled. "Bless you, Bella."

"Let's go." Suddenly Edward grabbed my hand and was leading me through the crowd toward the wooden structure that was the soon-to-be blazing bonfire. I looked back to see where Betty and Helena was, but the crowd closed the gap after me and I lost sight of them. They couldn't be far.

"Let's get it started!" Someone yelled, and there was a sudden _whoosh_ as flames erupted into the dark night sky. I felt a wave of heat wash over me and was relieved that the warm glow of the fire would keep me toasty.

"Go, go, go!" Another voice was yelling. "Touch the fire!"

Edward began to jog, keeping a slow pace for the benefit of my unsteady feet. I glanced, alarmed, at him as I started to move. First years had begun to surround us and pass us.

"Touch the fire?"

Edward chuckled. "Technically, it's illegal to touch the fire, and I wouldn't do it if I were you."

My heartbeat began to pick up as I began to get warmer from the movement. "I don't think I can do this a hundred times."

"I'll carry you."

I rolled my eyes. "You wouldn't. Not with everyone watching."

Alice sprang forth from behind us, a wide smile across her face and a glint in her eyes. She jogged in front of us gracefully and effortlessly, her white cotton dress billowing about her despite the chilly temperature. She turned around, calling back to Jasper who was now beside us. "I'll race ya."

Jasper laughed. "Is that a challenge, Miss Cullen?"

"You can't catch me!"

Alice dashed off, her short black hair bouncing in the wind, Jasper at her heels. Knowing that they couldn't run their full vampire speed, it wasn't exactly a race, but they were enjoying themselves, caught up in the spirit.

I was beginning to get hot and sweaty under my jacket. I pulled it off and Edward immediately reached out to take it from me. "Ready to stop?"

I snorted. "How unfit do you think I am?"

"I don't want you to trip, that's all." Edward teased.

Right after he finished his sentence, my right foot seemed to catch a non-existent bump in the grass, and my body jerked, flying through the air. I instinctively held my hands up to shield my face, expecting the impact when I would land on the ground. Cold hands suddenly gripped my waist, digging into the skin and pulling me up. I winced and was sure that it would bruise in the morning.

"Told you so." His cold breath was against my ear.

I huffed childishly, my cheeks red as I pulled myself up. "It's not fair to tease me about things that aren't my fault."

Edward was silent, his face suddenly solemn. He pulled me away from the path of the joggers as I crossed my arms. Not everyone could be as graceful, lithe and fast as them, least of all me; I was prone to tripping on my own two feet.

"You're right, Bella, I feel awful. I'm sorry." Edward murmured, his voice smooth as honey as he looked earnestly into my eyes. After all this time, I still found him too beautiful to behold. And he still dazzled me.

I was lost for words. "Uh..."

"Bella!" Helena trotted up, breathless and her eyes shining. Her cheeks were flushed scarlet from the run. She stopped, regaining her breath, her hands resting on her knees. "Hi Edward! I finally found you guys. Come join us over at the barbecue."

"Sure, why not?" I glanced at Edward, looking for a reaction. Perhaps something like, it was late and we'd better head home, or we'd already eaten...

Instead, Edward smiled at me and turned to Helena. "We'd love to."

Ugh.

"Great!" Helena straightened up, grabbing my hand and leading me through the throngs of people. "This way."

On the other side of the field, several large barbecues had been set up. The smell of smoke and grilled meat filled the air. All around, people were spread out on the grass in their own circles, some standing, some sitting, all eating and drinking and talking. Dotted every few metres or so were tall outdoor gas heaters that glowed orange against the dark, heating up the chilly air.

Nearby, a small stage had been set up, the yellow lights lighting up the darkness. A band was playing and the sound of a guitar strumming and a throaty voice wafted over the crowd.

Helena led us to a group of four who were seated on a blanket on the outskirts of the crowd, including Betty, two guys, seniors by the looks of them, and another girl. The first senior was tall and lanky, with black hair that was closely cropped to his scalp. The second was shorter, with broad shoulders and a compact build. Next to him, the girl – a senior as well, I supposed – leaned against his shoulder, her brown skin glowing in the dim light. She reminded me of Leah Clearwater, with her large eyes set above high cheekbones. Her jet black hair was pulled back in a long loose plait that extended over her shoulder and almost to the ground.

Betty sat with a beer in her hand and I waved as she glanced up. She was tiny in an oversized puffy jacket that rustled as she waved back at me, her face lighting up. Her cheeks were flushed red, as if she'd already downed a few. She patted the grass next to her. "_Hey_! There you are. Did you guys do the run?"

"Yeah," I replied, planting myself at her side. Edward sat close behind me, his arms around my waist. I leaned against him. "It was...interesting."

"Bella's not one for physical activity." Edward explained.

Betty chuckled, her eyes darting up to Edward and then quickly away. "Yeah, me neither."

Helena pushed into the circle, placing a beer in my hand and another in Edward's. I turned to him, raising an eyebrow.

"Thank you kindly, Helena." Edward said in response. I noticed in the corner of my eye Helena's cheeks blush spontaneously. He hadn't lost his touch. I brought the mouth of the bottle to my lips and took a sip.

"Oh, let me introduce you." Helena said. She turned to the other members in the circle. "The skinny one that's Matt, the short one's Pete and that's his girlfriend, Sandra. Guys, this is Bella and Edward."

The three murmured a chorus of greetings and continued with their conversation.

"Matt's my cousin, by the way." Betty explained. I glanced at him; while Betty was, I'm pretty sure, one hundred per cent Asian, Matt looked mixed. Though he seemed lanky at first glance, there was a leanness to him that balanced his height. Matt grinned at me. "Did you touch the fire?"

"Are you kidding, I barely did ten rounds, let alone touch the flames." I replied. "I do like my hands the way they are."

I felt Edward's grip around my waist tighten, clutching me closer to him. Damn, the things I let slip. I took another sip of beer, the malty bubbles frothing in my mouth. I didn't like the taste, but it gave me something to do.

My hands were freezing, exposed to the chilly air and clutching the cold bottle. That Edward's body emitted no heat didn't help, but I relished being close to him. The alcohol began to warm me up. I set my bottle down, huffing on my hands and rubbing them together. If only I had a personal heater here.

My heart skipped a beat at that thought. I _missed_ Jake, a lot. It had been so difficult to say goodbye to him, knowing that it would be a long time before I could see his smile light up the room. As if to quash the thought, though I knew Edward couldn't read my mind, I picked up my beer and took another swig.

"Uh...let me get you something hot for you to eat before you go any further with that." Edward said, gently prying the bottle from my fingers. "Can I get you guys anything?"

The others murmured a no in response. I sat back up, shifting my weight as Edward stood. "I'll be right back."

He disappeared through the crowd towards the barbecues. Betty turned to me. "Bella, I can't believe you two are engaged. God, you're so young."

I often couldn't believe it myself. I _was_ young, and Renee had always drilled into me the dangers of early marriage. I blushed, almost embarrassed. "I love him completely and he loves me...I can't imagine what I would do without him."

"Wow. That is amazing." Helena remarked. "I wish I could find love like that...and with someone as..."

"Gorgeous?" Betty finished her sentence and the two burst out in giggles. Oh god, if that's what it was like to be under the influence of alcohol...I vowed not to be drunk.

I noticed Sandra whispering to Pete, who was listening intently and nodding. Pete's eyes suddenly fell on mine and quickly darted away.

I took another sip, wondering where Alice and Jasper had got to.

At that moment, I saw Edward appearing from the crowd, two hot dogs clutched in the fingers of one hand. Behind him, Jasper was wheeling a gas heater that was still turned on and Alice skipped beside them in fluid movements, almost like she was dancing. I watched Matt, Sandra and Pete fall speechless at the new arrivals.

"Hi there." Alice greeted as Jasper set the heater down right near me. The heat was almost instantly stifling, but Edward sat back down behind me and I leant against his cool chest. It was a nice contrast, like sitting on an ice block in a sauna room. He handed me a hot dog. "You eat these, right?"

I nodded. "Thanks."

I usually preferred them with generous amounts of ketchup, but I guessed that Edward wasn't exactly familiar with the use of condiments. I took a bite, realising how hungry I was.

"Room for two more?" Alice asked, and without waiting sat down next to Edward. "I'm Alice, this is Jasper."

Sandra and Pete shuffled to the side. I noticed that Sandra's eyes were narrowed at the pale new additions to the group. It was a look, not exactly of suspicion, but of concentration, as if she was trying to remember something or solve a complex mathematical equation in her head. I glanced back at Edward, whose head was tilted slightly to the right, his face expressionless. I would have to ask him about that later.

I finished off the hot dog, washing it down with the last of the beer and started on the next one. Edward passed me his own bottle which he hadn't yet touched.

"Can I get you some beers?" Matt offered, his hands already reaching into a large ice box behind him.

"No thanks. I'm actually president of the RA Club on campus." Alice paused, her eyes glinting mischievously. "That's the Recovering Alcoholics Club."

I felt Edward's chest move against my back as he gave a silent chuckle. A smile played on Jasper's lips.

Matt frowned, placing the bottles back. "I've never heard of it. Is it new?"

Alice nodded. "Oh yeah, I just started it this year. So far there are two other members."

Her eyes darted meaningfully to Jasper and Edward and she grinned, her teeth white in the dim light. She seemed to be having fun, weaving her story. I guessed there was no real harm in it.

I was feeling full and warm. The alcohol seemed to be seeping into my brain and I felt my body slowly becoming tired and heavy. I shifted in Edward's arms so that all the weight in my upper body was against him and I rested my head on his shoulder. He kissed my hair, his nose lingering there, savouring the scent.

I noticed a change in atmosphere. It had grown more lively, the lights had dimmed even further and the sound of a lively jazz number floated through the air from the stage.

Alice's eyes lit up. "_Swing! _Oh, it's been absolutely _forever!_"

In a fluid movement, she grabbed Jasper's hand and leapt up. "Let's dance!"

Edward snickered, watching them leave. "You wouldn't happen to have learnt the Lindy Hop during your childhood dance lessons?"

I shook my head. "Sorry to disappoint you. I don't think I can even turn around on the same spot twice without falling down."

"You don't know until you try."

"No chance."

At that moment, Pete and Sandra got up to leave.

"I'm not feeling too great." Sandra spoke briefly. Her voice was surprisingly deep and husky, despite her petite frame. In fact, she did look a little livid and her forehead seemed to have developed a light sheen of sweat.

"We'll see you later. It was nice meeting you." Pete said as they began to turn away.

"You too." I replied.

"Later, guys." Matt chimed, while Betty and Helena waved. They'd been whispering to each other beside me and burst out in giggles.

"What's so funny?" I asked.

"Uh," Betty paused, glancing at her cousin, who was eyeing her suspiciously. "Nothing, nothing at all."

"Hey, Matt, do you wanna dance?" Helena's cheeks were blushing scarlet. Matt looked surprised, but his face lit up with a smile. "Sure."

Both Helena and Matt got up, leaving Betty to nurse the rest of her beer with Edward and me. She draw her knees up to her chin, hugging her legs. "You guys look so, like..."

I waited as she found the words.

"...Like you belong together." There was a wistful tone in her voice.

I looked up at Edward. "Yeah, we do. I feel that way all the time."

"That's nice."

Edward was silent. I wondered if he was reading her thoughts, and if so, what she was thinking. Betty seemed slightly uncomfortable at having been left the third wheel. She stood up. "I'll see you guys in a bit."

I nodded, clearing my throat, which had become dry, and took another pull from the beer. I felt Edward's cold hand on my cheek, which was flushing hot from the alcohol. I placed my hand over his, holding it there and closing my eyes. My head was beginning to swim and my eyelids drooped.

"I thought you said the twins would be here." I murmured.

Edward paused. "I guess they're busy. I don't hear them here."

"That doesn't concern you?"

"They've got their own lives. I can hear their every thought and motive. I would know if something was up, and Alice would see." Edward spoke. He began to stroke my cheek softly, then his touch moved down to my throat where he rested his fingers lightly over my pulse, relishing the sensation. "Don't worry about anything, Bella. We're here for you."

I exhaled slowly. I wanted to fall into a blissful sleep right here in his cold arms under the warmth of the heater. "You do too much for me. I don't deserve it."

"You deserve everything that life has to offer you, Bella." Edward replied softly. "I wish with my entire being that I could give that to you. If only I could have died and been reborn as a human..."

"But you didn't, and you're here with me now." I replied. "Who knows who or what you would have been reincarnated as, anyway. And plus, you probably wouldn't be attracted to me if you were."

"On the contrary, Bella," Edward's spoke in my ear quietly, his cold breath blowing down my neck, raising goosebumps. "It is as if the universe wants us to be together. No matter how hard I try, I will _always_ be attracted to you, will always want to be with you. The feeling grows stronger everyday."

His beautiful golden eyes gazed down upon me as I looked up at him. In the dim light, his skin was ghostly pale and his hair shone coppery-bronze. My heart began thumping erratically as I tried to steady my breath.

"You see what you do to me." I breathed.

Edward chuckled. "I see and hear everything."

He brought his lips down to mine as I tilted my head back. He kissed me softly before breaking away. "Hmm...beer breath."

"Sorry."

"I can smell the alcohol in your blood. It makes your scent more...musky."

I didn't know what to say at that. I thought that I should stop drinking now and I put the bottle down. My head was spinning and my arms and legs were heavy, and I'd only had two beers. I wasn't much of a drinker.

Edward frowned, touching my forehead. He held his fingers there for a moment. "Are you feeling okay, Bella?"

I nodded. "Of course I am. I'm with you."

"You're very warm. I think you're getting a fever."

"Maybe it's the alcohol."

Edward shook his head. "I don't think so; alcohol actually decreases your body temperature. The feeling of increased warmth when drinking is psychological."

I wrinkled my forehead, giving him my best pained expression. "Did I really want to know that?"

Edward smiled. "I guess not."

Now that he'd mentioned it, I was suddenly paranoid, my mind tuned into every feeling in my body. My arms and legs were beyond heavy now, they were aching, and it felt like my throat had closed around a painful lump that was beginning to develop there. The back of my nose felt like someone had scrubbed it with a metal brush and my eyelids were as heavy as ever. I did feel a little too warm, but I'd thought it was just the heater and my jacket.

"Maybe we should get going, I've got to work tomorrow." I said, moving to stand up. There was a sudden rush of blood to my head and everything around me began to spin.

"Woah!" My knees buckled as Edward caught me in his stone arms.

"Let's get you to bed, Bella. I don't think you'll be able to work tomorrow in any case."

I groaned. "But Patricia's counting on me."

"I'll call her."

A wave of nausea suddenly swept over me and I dry wretched involuntarily. Oh god, this was not good; my state of health had deteriorated rapidly over the past few hours. I didn't realise how quickly I'd fallen sick.

I squeezed my eyes shut, trying to stop my vision from spinning. I heard light footsteps on the grass and Alice's voice. "Is she okay?"

It felt like someone had stuffed cotton balls in my ears. Edward's response seemed distant, as if he was metres away and not holding me in his arms. "She's burning up."

I tried to scoff. "I'm not sick, I'll be fine."

It was a weak response, and I knew it as my heavy eyelids closed and I blacked out.

...

I wavered in and out of consciousness. I was aware of people talking softly in whispered voices. Voices of honey velvet and chimes, melodic and beautiful. Like angels. I couldn't catch what they were saying, as the more I tried to concentrate on hearing, the further away their voices seemed.

I tried to open my eyes, but all I saw were ghostly blurred shapes in the dark bedroom. I guessed that Edward had brought me back home and I was lying now in bed. I was so cold, yet despite the heavy blankets that had been thrown over me, chills shuddered through my body and I distinctly remembered the sound of my teeth chattering.

I had the strangest dream. It was so vivid. It was my first day at Forks High School and I was on my way to biology. I knew that Edward would be there, waiting at our bench. But when I entered the classroom, he wasn't the Edward I was used to. His skin wasn't pale white, it was healthy – it was human. I was astonished and stepped toward him, looking into his eyes. They were emerald green, the most striking I had ever seen. He smiled at me, the corners of his red lips turning upward and his eyes gleamed with love and warmth. I reached out my hand to touch him and was surprised at the heat of his skin.

A brief thought flickered through my mind. If he was human now, then we could...I didn't care about virtue or marriage anymore, I just wanted him. Now he would have no excuse to wait – he was just as human as I was.

I leaned over the bench to kiss him and his lips were soft and warm, his tongue hot, moist and sweet in my mouth. I didn't care about the other students in the classroom, or the teacher. I was amazed and excited that now we would be able to grow old together.

I pulled away; I was becoming hot, too hot. My skin was clammy and my back damp with sweat. As I pulled away, I noticed that the tone of Edward's skin had changed; it was now more brown and tan. My eyes flickered to his face and I realised that it wasn't Edward at all that I had kissed, it was Jacob! The heat of his body was so strong that I shied away from him as he smiled at me. As a grin spread across his face, I was struck with fear. It wasn't _my_ smile and my heart fell with disappointment. It was an arrogant, smug smile that made him look so different from the Jake I knew and loved. I didn't want to know this person at all. I had felt so heart broken by the change in him, this smarmy, arrogant Jacob, that tears began to prick my eyes and I pushed him away. I wanted my old friend back, the one who had been there for me when I'd felt so low.

Somehow, in my dream, I knew that I would never get him back again. And it tore me to pieces.

…

I awoke in darkness. My back was wet with cold sweat and my hair was a tangled mess. My throat still ached and my nose was blocked and running at the same time. The joints of my legs and arms ached incredibly and my temples throbbed. I felt hideous.

I reached over to the bed table and pulled out some tissues, blowing my nose. I didn't realise I could hold this much mucous in there. I dropped the tissues over the side of the bed where a small rubbish bin had been placed and crawled back under the covers where it was warm, sniffling. My mind flashed back to the dream. It was bizarre how my heart still felt heavy with a terrible sadness from just a dream. I was sad, because I knew that I would never be able to have a life with Edward like that, a normal life where we could have children and grow old together. And also because I felt that, since I'd left Forks, something was missing in my life. I didn't want to go back to find Jake a completely different person. There had been times when Jake was so incredibly obnoxious and angry and moody that I hated him with all my heart. It was this side that I feared. There was a part of me that wanted him to move on, very much so, yet there was also a part of me that was afraid of this change, afraid that he would never be the same Jake again, the Jake that I loved. The sweet, funny and sensitive guy that I cared for who made me laugh and feel like the most carefree person on the planet. Was I this selfish?

I looked over to the bed table. My phone was sitting on the far end, just out of reach. Without thinking, I pulled my arm out from under the covers and grabbed it. I scrolled through the phone book to "J" and pressed dial.

I cleared my throat as the phone rung.

"_Hey_, Bella!"

I was relieved. My muscles relaxed and I exhaled. "Hey Jake." I croaked. My voice was almost gone.

"Woah, what happened to you? You sound terrible."

"Yeah, I've got the flu or something. I'm down for the weekend."

"That sucks. How's college life?"

"Don't even ask. I've so much work to do and I can't even get out of bed."

"What? I thought it was all, you know, drinking and parties."

I snorted. "Right, because that's my forté."

"I know it is Bella, don't try to deny it."

I tried to laugh, but the laughter got caught in my throat and I began to cough, hacking up phlegm. Ugh. I heard Jake give a groan of disgust on the other end.

"Sorry." I managed to bleat out when I was done. "How's Charlie?"

"He's getting along. He visits Sue a lot; he spends a lot of time down here at the Res. Either hanging with dad or with Sue, or both. Yeah, he's doing fine."

"I miss him. And I miss _you_. Tell me what's been happening with you."

"Nothing much since you left. It's been so incredibly boring that I'm actually managing to go to school."

"School, huh. How's that working out for you?"

"Not so great. There's just so much more, you know?"

"Yeah, I see what you mean. But still, Jake, high school's important, and it's your last year."

"Please, Bella, I don't need this talk from you too."

I paused. "What do you mean?"

"Nothing, it's nothing. I just think that...there's so much more I can do out there than just waste my time sticking my nose in books. What good's it gonna do?"

"What are you saying, Jake, you wanna quit school?"

"_No_, Bella, I don't want to quit, I'm...I'm just not doing so great at it, okay?" His tone had grown defensive and the same fears from my dream resurfaced. "I'm just not an academic type of person."

"I can't believe it, Jake. Sure, there's a lot more you can do, but you need to live a _life_ as well; to do that, you _need_ to go to go to school. You're nearly finished anyway."

"Says who, _Mrs Cullen_, we can't all be married into wealthy vampire families."

I was stunned. "I don't want to talk to you if you're going to speak to me like this."

There was silence on the other end.

"Look, I'll just... I'll call you later. I don't feel too good." I murmured before moving to close my cell shut.

"Wait, Bella."

I stopped. There was a brief silence before he spoke again.

"I'm sorry, I'm such an idiot sometimes." Jake said. "Of course I'm not giving up on school, I'm not that stupid."

I sighed in relief. "You better not. And I know you better than that."

There was a lull of silence before Jacob chuckled.

"You know how Edward calls you a magnet for trouble? Well, at least you kept us occupied. When I said that it was seriously boring here, I meant it. You should really come back, then we'd have something to do."

"That's a good thing, Jake. I can't keep putting everyone I care about in danger." I said. "Now it's like I've dragged it with me."

I stopped. I shouldn't have said that.

"What do you mean, what's happening over there? Are you okay?"

I sighed. My head wasn't working properly to know that I should have used my words more carefully. The last thing I wanted was to have anyone else worried about me.

"We're dealing with it. Don't worry about me, Alice and Jasper are here as well." If I told him the whole story, I knew he would probably drop everything and run down here without a second thought.

"I was always honest with you, Bella." Jacob said, his voice sounding slightly hurt, yet there was an edge to it as well. "Tell me what's going on."

I didn't want to do this, to get him worried like this when he didn't need to be. "Look, there's just...the reason why Alice and Jasper are here is because she had this vision of me being bitten by another vampire. Here at Dartmouth."

There was a sharp intake of breath. "Another vampire?"

"Yes." I replied. "But it's more than that."

I went on to explain to him about the twins and Alice's visions. And Jeremy's possible intention of making me his blood-slave.

Jacob was stunned. "This is a big deal, Bells. Why didn't you call me earlier?"

"I didn't want you to be worried for no reason."

"No reason?! I'm getting furious right now just thinking about this...this _blood sucker_!"

"Don't be, everything will be fine."

"No, Bells, I can't sit here and _not _do anything while you're in danger."

"I'm not in danger, Jake." I pressed. "Edward, Alice and Jasper and the twins are here."

"I'm going to go." Jacob said abruptly. "I'll call you."

"What?! Jake –" I looked at my cell. The call had ended. I turned around, closing my eyes shut, and groaned. I was stupid, stupid, stupid. I shouldn't have called him. Now I was even more worried than before.

I felt cold fingers grasp my cell from my fingers and I opened my eyes to see Edward crouching over me, a tray in his other hand. I remembered my dream when I had seen his face, remembering those emerald eyes that had struck me so deeply. They were deep golden now, his eyes, and glowed just as much – if not even more – with love. How much did I want that dream to come true, when he was here right now with me, and he was perfect? It was only I who was imperfect.

Edward set the tray on the bed table, sitting on the side of the bed. He brushed his fingers over my forehead. "Your temperature has decreased. I'm glad you're awake now."

"Was I giving false alarms?" My voice came out throaty and hoarse.

"On several occasions." Edward said smoothly, his face impassive. I wondered what I had spoken in my state of unconsciousness.

"How's Jake?"

I sighed, looking away. "Annoying."

Edward took my hand in his. His touch was gentle, so gentle that it was like a feather on my skin. He turned my palm over, tracing the lines there lightly. He looked into my eyes, searching them. I wasn't quite sure what he was looking for there. His face remained expressionless, but I could see a pain there that was hidden just beneath the surface. "There's something I should tell you, Bella."

I lifted my head. "What?"

"You were _very _ill, Bella, that your defences must have been down. There were several times last night when I thought I heard your mind." Edward said.

"What...what did you hear?"

Edward's lips twisted into a wry crooked smile, an almost wistful smile and his eyes were suddenly filled with heart-breaking pain that had a hundred years of loneliness, regret and hate behind it. "I wish I could be _that_ Edward. Human. I could be with you. I could have children with you and we would grow old together. We would have a normal life."

I closed my other hand over his. "You don't have to be, Edward. I love you completely, just as you are."

"I hate myself that I can't give you these things, Bella." Edward's began to speak more quickly now. "You deserve so much more than me."

"But _you_ are all I could ever want and need, Edward. Only you." Even though my voice croaked, I was determined. "I've made my choice, Edward. You can't talk me out of it."

There was silence.

Then there was a light tap on the door.

Edward's head whirled around, almost in alarm. "Alice."

The door swung open silently. Alice stepped through, cautious. "How are you doing, Bella?"

I was glad to see her. "Better than yesterday."

She nodded. "That's good."

She was hesitating in the doorway, her fingers fidgeting. She glanced nervously at Edward. "We might have some complications."

Edward exhaled. "I knew it."

"What is it?"

"Well..." Alice began, her eyes looking away. Almost afraid of what she was about to say. "We should be expecting Jacob tomorrow."

"What?!" I spluttered.

"What did you tell him, Bella?"

"I said everything would be fine. You guys are here, he doesn't need to be worried." I reached over for my cell, flipping it open.

"It won't matter what you say now." Alice said. "He's decided he needs to be here. To protect you."

"But he's got school, and – "

"He'll finish it." Alice said quickly.

"As much as I despise to admit it, Jacob might be useful for us." Edward spoke.

I wanted to growl, but my throat hurt too much. I settled with rolling my eyes.

"Think about it. He would be able to disguise your scent." Edward said. "If Jeremy does come, it will be difficult for him to find you. He would hardly want to go near you with that mongrel hanging around."

I let Edward's use of words to describe my dearest friend slide. My life didn't need any further complications.

My mind flashed back to our parting words back in Forks. When I had told him that I'd decided to stay human for a year longer, he was over the moon. What he wasn't happy about was me leaving Forks to go all the way to New Hampshire with Edward.

In his opinion, it was another year of fighting. For me. But it would be more difficult with me being away, and that's what he hated. He didn't want to lose this battle, even though I'd told him that it wasn't even a battle to begin with; that I'd already chosen my side. He remained determined.

He'd promised that if I ever needed him, he'd be here. Where Edward and the others failed, he would be there. He would protect me. All I would need to do was call.


	6. Letter

4. LETTER

I was the only one fidgeting. Nervously. I was tapping my foot on the carpet, a constant sound of light thuds that would endlessly repeat itself if I didn't stop. My nose had cleared significantly and my throat no longer ached. I only felt marginally tired as I shifted my position and cleared my throat, sniffling.

I felt Edward's hand on my knee and I stopped moving my foot. The scene was like a still life, except for one. Alice was on the sofa, her legs drawn up to her chest and her chin resting on her knees. Jasper, who was gazing out of the window, had an arm around her shoulders.

Emiline and Josephine were perched on the barstools, facing towards us with their backs to the kitchen. Josephine's elbow leant on the breakfast bar, her head bent sideways, resting in the palm of her hand. Even Emiline, who was the only one I could identify with as being almost human amongst this group of beautiful statuesque vampires, was unmoving, her eyes cast downwards to her feet, as if examining her shoes.

I marvelled again at their beauty, how Emiline seemed to be a perfect example of health; her skin seemed to glow, not in the way as with Edward's skin in the sun, but there was a radiance there that I couldn't quite place.

I felt like the awkward, ugly duckling in the room.

Edward suddenly broke the silence as he turned to Josephine, his eyebrows furrowed. "It might have been Jacob you saw in the forest. When exactly did this happen?"

He seemed to be answering an unspoken question that Josephine had been thinking. Her eyes shifted to his, her brows furrowing, and she moved from her frozen position. "It was this morning, at about six o'clock."

"What happened?" I asked.

Emiline spoke. "Josephine was hunting last night up in the mountains and saw an animal. Probably a bear."

"It wasn't just a bear, Em, it was huge. It was like a wolf, but ten times larger. I've never seen anything like that before."

I froze, thinking of Jacob. His wolf-form would be the quickest and probably his preferred means of travel nowadays.

"Did it attack you?" Alice asked.

Josephine shook her head. "I was too far away, but it seemed to know I was there. The moment it started in my direction, I took off."

"What colour was it?" I asked, to be sure.

"Light brown. Like milky coffee."

I looked away. It couldn't have been Jacob, the colour of his fur was completely different. "Jake's fur is red-brown."

"Maybe he came with someone from the pack." Jasper suggested.

"No, I see Jacob coming alone." Alice said.

My brow furrowed, wondering who this mysterious wolf could be, running alone in the wilderness. Everyone else fell silent in contemplation, reverting back to their still, unmoving forms.

"I have a theory." Edward finally spoke, his voice in quiet. "Do you remember Sandra, from the other night?"

I nodded. I glanced at Alice and Jasper, whose eyes were set on Edward.

"She's half-Quileute. Her grandmother is originally from La Push."

I immediately put two and two together, my eyes widening. I'd meant to ask Edward what Sandra had been whispering to her boyfriend that night I fell sick. It seemed that I was about to have my question answered.

"When she saw us, she was reminded of old stories her grandmother used to recount to her as a child." Edward continued. "Quileute legends. She was thinking that they were too impossible to be true."

My heart began to pound and a buzzing filled my ears. I'd thought that after moving far away from Forks, from La Push – from everything, I would have a clean slate. I thought I was starting anew with Edward, yet it seemed old problems were following me.

I tried to hide the trembling in my voice, but I knew Edward saw through it. "Well, it's not the first time a female from the tribe has changed."

The twins were confused. "What does this mean?"

Edward and I explained about the Quileute tribe and their legends, how they were descended from wolves. That those legends were, in fact, true, but only in the proximity of their enemies – vampires.

"I guess our presence at Dartmouth caused this change in her. Five vampires against one Quileute ought to have had some effect." Edward finished.

"Well, then she needs help." I said. "She must be confused and angry, running around the forest and changing without knowing why. She needs to know about you as well, that she doesn't need to feel that you're her enemy. You guys are different."

"We'll see what Jacob has to say." Edward said. I was surprised that Edward would actually want to leave it to Jacob; they hated each other with a passion.

He glanced at me. "Well, he _is_ an expert, in a way."

That was true.

Everybody's head suddenly turned towards the hallway, as if hearing something that my human ears could not. A few seconds later there was a soft snuffling from the entrance and Edward stood up.

A pounding on the front door echoed through the house and in the next instant, Edward had left my side to answer. I stood up as I listened to them greet each other.

"Jacob," Edward's voice sounded, tense and controlled.

"Edward." My heart leapt at the sound of Jacob's husky tone.

"We've been expecting you." Edward replied. He was overdoing it a little on the politeness.

I stepped forward eagerly into the hall. Jacob's massive six foot frame filled the doorway. He was huge, bigger than I remembered, if that was possible. Muscles rippled his torso and arms and his hair was cropped closely to his scalp, much shorter than it had been before. There were bags under his eyes though, making him look incredibly fatigued despite the smile that had cracked across his face. It was my favourite smile and I couldn't help but beam back at him. As usual, he had on his now traditional garb of cut off jeans that were now dirty and stained, even torn in some places.

"Jacob, you didn't have to come." I said, feeling the urge to hug him like an old friend. I was hesitant though, and settled with slapping him on the arm. The heat of his skin almost stung my palm. Despite knowing the complications that there were to come, I was relieved to have him here. In the corner of my eye, I saw Edward leave to rejoin the others.

Jacob watched him leave and as I looked up at him, the scowl on his face immediately vanished.

"How about, gee, it's really good to see you too?" Jacob grinned, scooping me up into a tight hug and almost winding me. I gasped for breath.

"Yeah, that too." I wheezed as we pulled away. I grabbed his wrist and tried to pull him inside. "Come in."

He was heavy and moved cautiously.

"Hi Jacob." Alice leapt up from the couch as we entered the living room. "We're glad to see you."

"Hi Alice, Jasper." Jacob replied, slightly uncomfortable. His eyes moved to the bar, where the twins were sitting. Josephine had her hand over her wrinkled nose. Emiline's lips were pursed, her eyes bugging out slightly but she made no obvious move to disguise herself. It was his smell, I supposed. I didn't understand how it could be so off putting – disgusting, even – for them.

I stepped forward. "Jacob, this is Josephine and Emiline. The twins I told you about."

Jacob nodded. "Hi."

I could almost see his thoughts passing over his face and through his narrowed eyes. It was obvious – why did you two decide to come here at the same time as her and cause all this trouble?

Jasper interrupted, his manner and tone business-like; he was never one to waste time. "It's good to have you here. The first issue I think we should deal with is Sandra."

Jacob turned to him. "Who?"

"Sandra's a senior at the college. She's part-Quileute, and we think she may have transformed due to our presence here." Jasper explained. "Josephine saw a giant wolf last night in the mountains; it couldn't have been an ordinary wolf and it couldn't have been you."

"And I didn't see you arriving with anyone else." Alice added.

"That's true, I'm alone." Jacob said. "The pack didn't agree with me leaving, but Sam didn't forbid me either."

"As with vampires, I am of the opinion that having a newborn wolf running around the forest is extremely dangerous." Jasper said.

"So we should find her and help get her under control." Jacob concluded. Jasper nodded.

"Can I just shower and eat first?" Jacob asked. "I'm starving."

...

After inhaling two steaks, an omelette made of two dozen eggs and half a loaf of bread, Jacob ventured out with the others to scour the mountains for any sign of Sandra. Only Emiline remained with me and we both sat on the couch now, side by side. The television was on, but I couldn't concentrate at the commercials that blared at me. There were a lot of questions I wanted to ask, but I was afraid of going over the line.

I turned to her. "Can I ask you something?"

Emiline's voice was quiet. "It depends what it is."

"Why do you think it is that you haven't changed?" I asked. "You must have some theories."

Emiline was silent for a moment, her hands in her lap and her eyes looking upward in contemplation. She began to speak. "We've just accepted it, really. We've only begun to think of it again and come up with new theories, now we know that there are other vampires with unique abilities. One theory is that it's a unique ability of mine, to protect myself against this change. Another is that maybe it's Josephine who is protecting me from changing."

I nodded. They were good theories and they made sense.

"When we were born, our mother died." Emiline said, wrapping her arms around her torso and leaning back against the sofa. "Josephine came first. She was the easier one. It was I who was difficult. Our mother spent a further twenty four hours in labour. She lost a lot of blood and when the doctors finally figured out that she wasn't going to make it, they cut me out."

"And your mom..."

"She died straight after." Emiline said. Her voice was low and soft. "I always thought that I killed my own mother. Then Josephine came up with another theory. It's this one I like the best.

"Maybe when our mother died, she wanted me to live so badly that it was like she blessed me. Even now, after death, her spirit lives inside me and continues to protect me. If I think that that's the reason why I am this way, then I feel like there's a part of her in me. Perhaps the first time Jeremy tried to change me, that power manifested itself.

"And no matter how many more times Jeremy bit me, I haven't changed." Emiline's voice suddenly became bitter. "I will _never_ allow him to rule my life again."

"I can't imagine what it must have been like."

Emiline turned to me, her hazel eyes reflecting a sorrow and burning fury there so strong that I almost reeled back. "I will _not_ let anything like that to happen to you. No one should experience that. Ever."

There was a grave silence. I didn't want even want to think about the possibility.

"There's something I wanted to ask you too, Bella."

I turned to her, my eyebrows raised. "Ask away."

"Why are you with Edward?"

I didn't even need to think about it. "Because I love him, and he loves me. I want to be with him forever. For the rest of my life. Whichever comes first."

"So you plan on..."

"Changing, yes." I finished for her.

Her eyebrows furrowed, the corners of her lips turning downwards. "I don't understand why you would want to give up your life, Bella. At all. What about getting older, having a family, _living_?"

I shook my head. "I can't picture my life without him. It's as simple as that. We've tried it before, Em, and it ended with both of us nearly dying. They've promised the Volturi to turn me, anyway. We've decided on another year, then it will be time."

"The Volturi?"

I explained to her about the vampire clan that governed their world from their headquarters in Italy.

She was astounded. "There's so many things that we didn't know about this world, about ourselves and others. I can't believe everything we've missed. Even you're human and you know more than we do."

I wasn't sure whether to take that as an insult, but I let it slide. "You learn these things when your life partner is a vampire, I guess."

There was more awkward silence. I sighed, getting up. "We don't know how much longer they'll be. I might as well spend this time catching up on work."

"Good plan. I'd do the same, but I left my books at home."

It was strange. I thought that I would be able to identify with her more easily, that we'd hit it off or something. There seemed to be a barrier there, and I contemplated this as I ascended the stairs and headed to the study. I wished that I could just get through to her; break down those walls.

I started up my laptop, waiting for it to boot up. On Friday, I had been halfway through a two thousand word essay for English before I'd been struck down by the flu and I opened the file to read through what I'd already written.

Working off a flow chart of a plan that I had roughly drawn on a piece of scrap paper, I continued. I worked for what must have been two solid hours before my shoulders started to ache from being hunched over the laptop for so long. I glanced at my phone, which had stayed silent all this time.

They were taking a while.

I tried to picture Sandra in her wolf form. I had only seen her for an hour or so that night, but I remembered her wide eyes and the coffee-brown colour of her skin. I remembered her hair being incredibly long, and thought that it would make for one very shaggy wolf. I sniggered wryly at the thought.

"What's so funny?"

I started, my heart doing a backflip before beating again, rapidy. Edward had crept into the room silently to speak right in my ear. I slapped his arm. It was like slapping a metal pole. "Don't do that to me!"

"Sorry, I couldn't resist. I love that look on your face when you're concentrating." Edward grinned crookedly, my favourite grin, and my heart melted.

"Did you manage to find her? What happened?" I asked.

Edward nodded. "We tracked her scent up in the White Mountain region. She was a handful, confused and incredibly fast and strong, but Jacob managed to get her under control. They'll be a while. Alice and Jasper decided to stay back and hunt."

So we were alone. Save Emiline downstairs.

"I'm sorry about everything." I said, sliding around in the chair to face him. My memory flashed back to that short period of truce last year. "I didn't mean for him to come here. And you're taking it so well."

"It's not without a very concerted effort." Edward said. "I would have thought he'd have given up on _that _prospect."

I didn't want to think about it.

"But we both agree on one thing for the time being, and it's your safety." Edward said.

"This is getting ridiculous, Edward, and you're all worrying about me for nothing." My cheeks flushed hot with anger, as it was the truth. I didn't understand why they had to work themselves up into this protective frenzy and I was getting sick of it. I didn't want to play the damsel-in-distress any longer.

I knew I was being unfair on him and on them. I understood that they were doing their best to protect me, but frankly...I didn't want it any more. I felt like surrendering to what the universe was throwing at me. I wanted to stand on a mountain and yell at the top of my lungs, "Take me! I'm yours!"

Perhaps then I would be able to change sooner than later, and it wouldn't have been my decision. It would have just…happened.

Edward's eyes widened in surprise and hurt at my sudden outburst. When I saw that look in his eyes, that pain, I stopped, feeling a pang of guilt. I bit my lip.

"I'm sorry." I said softly, my eyes downward. I swivelled back around in my chair, facing my computer, and rubbed my eyes. "I'm still not well at all."

I felt Edward's hands on my shoulders.

"I can't bear to see you like this." He began. "But I have to protect you. I've heard in Emiline's mind what she's been through and it's unspeakable. And to think of that ever happening to you."

The grip on my shoulders tightened, but he let go. I turned around and he stood there behind me, his hands balled into fists at his side. His knuckles had turned paper-white.

He stalked over to the couch, burying his face in his hands. "I imagine you in her place and it haunts me. It infuriates me to my bones...I want to tear him, piece by piece, and burn each part in front of him to see. I'll save his head for last."

His hands were trembling, his eyes were wide open, wild, and dark shadows hung underneath them. They made him look much, much older than seventeen.

Suddenly there was an ear splitting crash of breaking glass from downstairs and a high pitched yelp filled the house.

Edward jumped up in a flash, his nostrils flared. "Stay here, Bella!"

The next moment, he had disappeared downstairs. I frowned, jumping up from the desk. He couldn't expect me to stay here not knowing what was happening down there. I followed him at the most quickest human speed I could manage.

Jacob's giant red-brown wolf form was lying in the middle of the living room, panting. Shards and splinters of glass were everywhere, and red spatters stained the floor. Despite the nauseous smell of the blood and the lurch of my stomach, I gasped, rushing forward. "Jacob!"

"No, Bella!" I felt Edward's cold arms wrap around me, restraining me and I looked up to see why.

Outside, on the grass, an enormous wolf was pacing the lawn, growling. Its wide eyes were menacing slits, its lips pulled back over its teeth as it snarled. Light brown fur, flecked with black, shone in the sun. The wolf was Sandra, I guessed, as it continued to growl and snap its teeth.

"They're fighting." Edward translated. "Jacob's explained everything…now she's angry at us for making this happen to her."

Edward pulled me behind him. "Stay here."

He stepped forward slowly, his eyes glued on Sandra. His voice sounded out, soft and careful. "Please, Sandra, there's no need for this. You don't _have_ to change, you could easily refuse and go on with your normal life. It will all stop; there's always a choice."

The low growl was directed at Edward now and she came closer, her eyes glaring at him. She seemed to be speaking to him through her thoughts and ended with an aggressive bark.

"I'm sorry, Sandra but I don't know how. That's why we came to you with Jacob, he can help you." Edward pleaded. "Please, we are not your enemy; there's no need to be scared of us."

Her eyes continued to glare with fury as she began to back away. With one last look, she turned abruptly, her tail behind her as she darted off into the trees.

My breath was still and I was frozen to the spot. I glanced at Jacob and my heart leapt to my throat. I willed my legs to move and ran to his side, kneeling down at his head. Gently, I placed my hand on his neck. His fur was thick and rough, almost oily. He was breathing quickly and his black eyes lolled up to look into mine, vulnerable with pain.

Edward was suddenly at my side, his hand on mine. He looked at me. "Bella, please give him a minute to change."

It took me a moment to understand why. I nodded, standing up, and with one last look at Jacob's broken, still body, darted back up the stairs.

...

When I crept back down a few minutes later, Jacob was back in his human form. He was still lying on the floor over a white sheet, a large towel draped over his lower body from his waist to his knees. His body took a strange shape there on the ground, and my jaw dropped as I realised that his right arm was bent out of shape and twisted almost all the way around. His left foot was also twisted, bent backwards at a forty five degree angle.

My hands flew to my mouth. His bones must have set while he was still in wolf form. I watched his face, which was pale and drenched with sweat. His teeth were clenched tightly, fighting off the pain.

Edward was leaning over him with his cell to his ear, speaking rapidly, so quickly I could hardly make out words.

At that moment, Alice appeared through the broken window, with a small bundle in her hands wrapped in a white towel. She smiled grimly at me and passed the bundle to Edward without a word.

Edward looked up at her and nodded, putting down the phone. "Thanks. I'm gonna need all I can get."

Jasper was not far behind Alice clutching a white plastic bag.

I joined them. "Will he be okay?"

"Sandra was a lot stronger than he thought. When he told her why she had changed, she was furious...he tried to stop her from coming here. She's broken his leg and arm, but the bones set while he was still in wolf-form. We'll need to break them and reset it." His face was grim, but I had the feeling that he would enjoy breaking Jacob's bones.

"I've just received instructions from Carlisle. Jacob needs five times the amount of morphine than a normal human." Edward said, unwrapping the towel. It was filled with a dozen small foiled packages, and I realised they were disposable needles pre-filled with morphine. Alice must have made a very quick trip to the hospital.

As Jasper pulled a belt tightly below the shoulder joint of Jacob's unbroken arm, I watched as Edward ripped the first package open, flicked the needle and sunk it into the vein at the delicate skin inside his elbow.

I couldn't bear to watch; my head had already begun to spin and I was only just recovering from the flu; I still felt weak. I wrapped my arms around my waist, biting back tears and trying to swallow down the lump in my throat as I sunk into the couch. This was my entire fault.

If I had stuck to my guns and decided to change, we wouldn't be here. I wouldn't be in danger and Jacob wouldn't be in pain. Nobody I cared about would have needed to worry about me any more.

I felt Alice beside me, wrapping her cold arms around my shoulders. "Jacob will be fine, Bella, don't worry. He's been through worse."

"But it's my fault." I said numbly, my eyes blurring with tears.

"No, Bella, it was his decision to come here." Alice said firmly.

"That should do it." Edward spoke, leaning back.

The muscles of Jacob's face relaxed and his teeth unclenched. His ragged, short breaths became steady and deep.

Alice's face grew perplexed as she realised what they were about to do. "You don't have to see this, Bella."

I shook my head. "No, I want to stay."

The loud crack of a bone being broken echoed through the room, making me jump. I shuddered, feeling more ill. I watched Edward bandage Jacob's arm to a steel pipe, ensuring that it would set straight, and he moved on to his ankle. Placing his hands there delicately, in one swift movement he twisted the ankle back in its correct position with another loud crack.

"_Dammit, you blood sucking piece of sh –!_"

"More morphine!" Jasper yelled over him, replacing Edward's hands as he bandaged the ankle. Edward moved back to Jacob's side, peeling open more packaged needles.

"I bet you enjoyed that, didn't you, you filthy little..." Jacob's voice faded into silence as the drugs once again kicked in.

Edward chuckled. "More than you'll ever know."

I realised that my heart had been pounding all this time as I watched them work with wide eyes. Edward stood, scooping up empty packages and placing them back into the plastic bag. He glanced at me. "Sorry you had to see that. The sooner we could reset the bones, the better."

"He'll heal back to normal, though, right?" I asked.

"Please, Bella, he's a werewolf." Alice jumped up, her mouth twisted into a slight smirk. "Of course he will."

Edward frowned. "Did Emiline leave?"

I froze. Everything had happened so quickly that I had completely forgotten about her. I shook my head. "I didn't see her go."

Edward's brow furrowed, his head bent to the side as if he was trying to listen in on some sound in the distance. "She's not around here."

"Josephine?" I asked.

Edward paused for a brief second. "She's coming."

There was a crunch of glass. I twisted my head to see Josephine picking her way through the debris. Even as she did so, her movements were incredibly graceful. Her golden eyes widened as she surveyed the scene. "What happened here?"

"Sandra became angry and had an argument with Jacob. She threw him through the window." Alice explained.

"What happened to Emiline?" Edward asked slowly. I caught the edge in his voice.

Josephine let out a long breath, pain flooding her beautiful features, as she pulled a piece of paper from the pocket of her jeans. "Em's gone. She thought we'd be safer if she went alone to meet Jeremy. She left this."

With a trembling hand, she passed him the slip of paper. Edward moved to the couch to sit beside me, unfolding it. Immediately, Alice and Jasper were behind him, craning their heads to read it.

Her hand writing was scrawled and rushed with large, looping letters.

_Jo,_

_I've made up my mind. If all Jeremy wants is me, then that's what he'll have. I don't want to risk Bella's life, or yours, or anyone else's any longer._

_I do really love him. You know that I can't stay away from him forever and that it would only have been a matter of time._

_Please don't come after me. I know that I can be happy with him this way, eventually. Maybe you can too without me there to hold you back._

_I'm sorry to do this to you. You're my sister and I'll always love you, but this is how I want it to be for now. Just me._

_Love you forever,_

_Em._

I didn't understand. I thought she _hated_ him, I thought they both did, yet Emiline loved him despite everything he'd done to her, feasting off her – controlling her.

Josephine's angelic voice was broken, her eyes pleading. "This isn't her speaking, she can't do this to me, she can't. She can't leave me, after all we've been through. After everything I did for her!"

Alice's voice was thick, her eyes distant. "I can't see her. I can't see either of them now."

"What do you mean?" Josephine asked, her voice high.

"It's like their futures just...vanished." Alice frowned, puzzled. "But that only happens with the wolves."

We fell silent, contemplating on what this meant. Could it be possible that Jeremy had come this close to us and had found Sandra? Perhaps he'd decided she would be useful to him, although he couldn't possibly know that Alice's ability would no longer be of use if he continued to keep her. We'd be vulnerable.

"We'll have to wait for Jacob to heal properly." Edward said grimly. "When he's able to change safely, perhaps he'll be able to communicate with Sandra and see where she is. She's the only reason I can think of for Jeremy to disappear like this."

"Might take a day or two." Jacob called from the floor, his voice weak yet far shy of cockiness. "Sorry about the mess. You might wanna start cleaning it up and get someone to fix your window."


	7. Curiouser

5. CURIOUSER

The Volvo had come to a stop and I rubbed my bleary eyes. I had hardly gotten any sleep last night, after everything that had happened. I felt Edward's hand brush my cheek, gently turning my head to his. "You don't have to work if you're still unwell, Bella."

"No, the sooner I get back, the better." I replied. "I'll be fine."

"I'll be here when you're finished." Edward sighed, brushing his lips against my jawline.

My stomach fluttered. "You're not going back home?"

"No, I don't want to leave you here."

My cheeks flushed warmly, touched that he would wait here for hours just to make sure I was okay. "Won't you be bored?"

"I brought some work with me." Edward indicated to the backseat where two textbooks and his notebooks were piled. "Though it most likely won't take me very long to complete."

"Oh, okay." I said, grasping my bag. "I'll see you soon then."

I leaned forward to kiss him. His lips yielded yet they were tense, as if he was holding back. Taking one last glance at him before opening the door, I searched his face and his amber eyes for some reason behind this. They revealed nothing.

...

"Bella, thank god you're here!" Fabrice, the manager, accosted me as soon as I walked through the door. He pushed his thick, black framed glasses up, his mouth pursed and his nostrils flared. "I'm sure you've heard."

I stood at the entrance, trying to rack my brain and could only come up with the events that had occurred over the weekend. I was in a world of my own and I shook my head. "Heard what?"

"Patricia was found up in the forest near the White Mountains. She'd been hiking and was attacked by some sort of animal. A bear, most likely."

I gasped, my hand over my mouth. "Will she be okay?"

"She's in intensive care now."

"That bad?"

Fabrice nodded. "Can you take over from her for the time being? Let's hope she makes a speedy recovery."

I was stunned, my mind ticking in overtime. She'd been attacked by an animal in the White Mountain region, the same area where Josephine had seen Sandra the morning she'd been hunting. And who knew when Jeremy had come within the grounds of Dartmouth, close enough to poach Sandra and take her under his power.

But why on earth would Sandra or Jeremy attack her at all?

Unless it was just a very big coincidence.

Work dragged on and I couldn't concentrate, knowing what had happened to her and that Edward was waiting for me outside.

I cut myself several times trying to open boxes to restock the shelves, ran to get plasters and bruised my elbow on the edge of the counter. I scanned items twice when making sales and fumbled for an apology. Most people just looked at me with amusement in their eyes; others were annoyed at my clumsiness and I went red, bumbling about even more.

Finally it was nine-thirty in the evening and it was time to close up. Outside, the night was chilly and black as I slung my bag over my shoulder and pulled my jacket tightly around my chest, crossing my arms. Dark clouds hung low and heavy in the sky, blocking the stars. There was a light mist in the air that clung to my hair and made everything damp. I blinked as I strode out of the parking lot, my eyes adjusting to the dark. I stopped and looked once more. The silver Volvo had been parked near the trees, on the far corner of the parking lot. The space was now empty. I frowned in confusion. He said he would be here…Edward wasn't the type to break a promise like that. He'd said he couldn't leave me alone. I searched my bag for my cell – perhaps he'd left me a message.

"So you're Bella."

A voice sounded through the dark. Velvet smooth, rich and melodic to my human ears. I looked up, my heart skipping a beat. I heard soft chuckling.

"He's not here, I'm afraid. I sent him after your friend in the hospital. Perhaps he wanted to confirm his suspicions himself."

A tall figure emerged from the dark; thin and gaunt yet strangely beautiful and elegant. His hair was black, thick and wavy and framed his face. He had large eyes that glowed dark red – so dark that they could almost pass for deep black-brown.

My heart beat faster and I tried to hide the tremor in my voice as I spoke. "What do you want?"

He shrugged, a smile playing on the corner of his lips. "I just wanted to see you for myself. It's amazing the bonds that some of us forge with you humans. Emiline's told me _so much_ about you."

I expected him to make the next move and I stood there, my heart pounding in my ears, my eyes on his. As his features came into focus, I felt a sort of familiarity with him, and my dream came back to me in full force, arresting my heart. "I've seen you before – I dreamt of you."

His brow furrowed and he stepped closer to me without a sound. He spoke under his breath. "Curiouser and curiouser..."

Then he froze. I watched him as he tilted his head, closed his eyes and breathed in slowly. When he was finished, his eyes opened and fell upon mine. "Your scent..."

He licked his lips and swallowed.

My heart was racing and I wanted to move, to run, but I knew that it would be helpless. There would be no escape.

I suddenly felt my limbs grow heavy and now as much as I would have wanted to, I couldn't move. Save for the steady rise and fall of my chest as I breathed, I couldn't even bat an eyelid, no matter how much I tried to. My eyes wide open, I watched as the corners of his thin lips turned down in a frown. "As I cannot seem to control your thoughts...you _will_ come to me."

I couldn't stop myself as my left leg shifted forward, followed by my right and I began to walk towards him. I willed my body the other way, to turn and run, but they did not listen.

I was terrified. My heart had become completely still and I realised I had stopped breathing. I took a gasp of air and a sob escaped my lips.

"Shh, darling," He said softly. His voice was like honey and deceptively gentle. "I won't have you now, but I _will_ have you."

He reached out his arm towards me and with long, cold fingers, stroked my cheek gently.

Then darkness.

…

_Edward_

It took everything I had to stop myself from accidentally snapping the brittle plastic of the steering wheel as I sped away from the hospital.

I couldn't believe myself. I had given in so easily to his power. Now that I thought back, I didn't know why I'd had that thought, that sudden urge to leave Bella at work and see Patricia. I _knew_ myself. I would have waited for Bella to finish work and go then. At least Bella would be able to recognise her when she saw her. Oh...No she wouldn't have.

Half of her face had been covered in gauze and her head had been shaven, her scalp stitched up and bandaged. Her limbs were covered in plaster and she'd been sleeping soundly, as if in a coma.

I blinked and gritted my teeth. Even upon seeing her, there wasn't any way of knowing what had done that to her. It could have been Sandra or Jeremy, or even just a coincidence – the White Mountain region was abundant with black bears. I would know.

Then a thought entered my mind; not my own, but someone else's from a distance. My blood would have run cold and my heart froze, if it was possible, as I listened.

_...And here I was only curious of this human who every vampire around here seems to adore...if they only knew! The scent of her blood...so alluring...so intoxicating...and now I will have her for myself...again and again..._

The voice faded away and a growl ripped through my throat as I slammed my foot on the brakes and swerved into the parking lot, swearing at myself. I had just missed them!

My body was shaking with fury as I got out of the car and slammed the door forcefully, the sound echoing through the empty lot and past the treetops.

My nostrils flared, I breathed in deeply. Her scent was still strong.

...

My heart was screaming. Inside, I was racked with desperation and thoughts raced through my mind a mile a second. Crazy plans of how to escape, how to overcome this power he had over me. To make myself stop moving as I followed him through the forest.

It was deadly silent and the only sounds came from the trampling of our feet on the forest floor. High above, there was no moon or stars. What the treetops did not cover, the dark grey clouds blocked any light. It was pitch black.

Three words suddenly entered my mind: _t__he third wife_. A second was all I would need...

We went deeper still into the wilderness. I heard the sounds of rushing water and knew we were close to the river. Far to the right, the ground ran down steeply into its rocky banks. Just one second. Please.

A voice broke through the silence and I recognised it immediately. "The dog ran away the second you left."

Emiline.

"That doesn't matter to me any more." Jeremy replied, his voice serene.

Not far ahead, I could make out her figure sitting on a fallen log in a small clearing, her arms crossed over her chest. As we approached, she stood up. "So it's true then."

"Please, Emiline," Jeremy spoke as we come to the centre of the clearing and stopped. My body became perfectly still with no warning.

Jeremy turned around and came to stand behind me, facing Emiline. My blood ran cold as I felt icy hands run down the sides of my neck, stroking the skin gently. My heartbeat quickened, goosebumps breaking out over my arms and the back of my neck prickled. _Don't touch me!_ I wanted to shout.

He brought his nose closer to my throat, inhaling deeply. My breaths became short and sharp as he spoke. "Just _smell_ her...such an exquisite scent, surely her blood was meant _only_ for me."

Oh no. It couldn't be...as with Edward, could it be that my blood "sang" for him as well?

I gasped as my body began to to feel warmer as he continued to stroke my neck, my jawbone then my cheek. The dream returned to me again, the same feeling of desperation and fear, yet an indescribable urge for him to keep touching me that went against the sheer terror that overwhelmed me.

Unwillingly, my head tilted back towards his and I caught his scent. Sweet, of white musk and roses, and my breath caught in my throat. He placed a hand on the small of my back and lowered me to the ground.

My heart pounded in the silence.

I watched him stretch out his hand towards Emiline, who was standing frozen, her eyes wide as she watched us. "A favour, Emiline."

I could see the struggle in her eyes. The pain there, the hesitation. She bit her lip.

Jeremy sighed and my senses were filled with his scent. My head swirled.

"You know I don't like to ask twice."

I watched Emiline's expression as her eyes clouded over, suddenly empty of confusion. Of any thought or feeling. She was like a robot as she came towards me and knelt down on the ground beside my still body. I knew that it wasn't her doing so. She had been aghast at the thought of biting me, the mere suggestion of it. She would never have done it on her own accord.

I would have my way now. But what then? Only to become a slave of this...this stranger?

I felt her warm fingers grasp my wrist, raising it through the air. Her breath brushed my skin.

This was it.

The next few moments happened so quickly. A loud, deep growling erupted through the clearing, causing the air around us to tremble with its ferocity. The thud of heavy paws sounded over the forest floor. Jeremy growled as the beast came nearer and my heart leapt – Jacob or Sandra?

The weight suddenly shifted from my body and there was a screech of tearing metal that grated in my ears, a thud of a fallen limb in the far distance and heavy panting. Instinctively, I'd pulled my arm away from Emiline's grasp and hoisted myself up. Movement had returned to me and adrenaline coursed through me as I glanced around.

I looked over at the wolf, its coffee-brown fur shining dully in the dark, pacing circles around Jeremy, who stood, crouching, his free hand clutching at his shoulder where his arm had been torn away.

"You _mongrel!_" He growled, his skin pale in the dim light. His lips curled, baring gleaming, razor-sharp teeth and he hissed, his dark eyes narrowed into slits.

Emiline was suddenly whispering in my ear. "This was my plan, Bella. Run!"

She pulled me up and shoved me forward, hard. Surprised, I stumbled, my limbs heavy as if I hadn't used them for a while – the same feeling I'd had when I'd been sick in bed and gotten up for the first time.

I hurtled towards the trees and picked up my pace through the fallen branches, wet leaves and debris, willing myself to move faster. It was difficult with the blackness surrounding me, but it would only be a matter of time before Jeremy had both Sandra and Emiline under control and would come after me.

Emiline had planned this the whole time! If she'd told Jeremy enough about me to come looking for me...Sandra would leave and Alice would see what was happening, although Emiline couldn't possibly know that. She had probably been relying on Sandra returning, surprising Jeremy and killing him. Which meant they would be here soon. My spirits lifted as I ran as carefully as I could, trying not to trip over in the dark, only just dodging the branches and twigs that were sticking out, ready to scrape my tender skin. I headed towards the river bank, hoping that the ground would clear so I could navigate my way more easily.

As I neared the edge where the ground fell away steeply, I heard footsteps behind me and my heart froze. I twisted my head to look back but could see nothing through the darkness. My breaths were quick and heavy, my heart pulsed in my ears and my limbs felt as if they were powered on sheer terror.

It happened so quickly. Less than a few seconds. My foot suddenly caught onto a rock that had been half sticking up from the ground and I cried out as I fell through the air. There was a painful crunch and I felt my left shoulder dislocate painfully as I hit the ground, my body rolling forward across the steep river bank. I wrapped my right arm around my head, trying to protect it. It was all I could do as I tumbled down through the rocks.

Something snapped and jolting pain, like electricity, shot up my leg and through my body. I tried to cry out, but only a whimper escaped me and I felt something hot and wet and sticky on my neck and knew that it was blood. My head swimmed and my stomach lurched. The ground, the trees and the sky were whirling around me and blurring together and I closed my eyes before a rock impacted the back of my head. I cried out in pain as an image of Edward's perfect face flashed in my mind's eye.

I felt the solid ground disappear from beneath me as I plunged into the icy cold water. I gasped, my lungs suddenly constricted and I struggled for air but only water rushed into my mouth. I coughed, spluttering with my head just above the surface as I tried to swim against the current. I flailed with my good arm and tried to kick with my good leg, but it was no use. My body no longer seemed to work and silence began to fill my ears.

The pain was fading now and a strange calmness settled in. It was a feeling of peace, of bliss. It was as if my consciousness had separated from my body and I was finally liberated of all laws that had limited me as a physical being.

"Bella!" Emiline's voice was distant over the sound of rushing water. I blinked, unsure of whether I should continue on and let my mind be free, or return to reality.

I thought of Edward and knew what I had to do.

Strong hands hooked under my shoulders, pulling my body above the water, against the current and onto dry ground. My body was weary and unwilling to move. Instinctively, I breathed for air and choked on the water that had seeped into my lungs. It burned the back of my throat and nose as it spluttered back out.

"Oh, god, Bella...no..." Emiline cried tearfully under her breath. My eyes were incredibly heavy and I felt them droop and almost close; the urge to sink into that peaceful, calm sleep was overwhelmingly tempting.

They were late. The plan had backfired and I was lying now, my body bloody and broken, on the damp ground. If only Edward could see me. Instead, _she_ kneeled beside me, sobbing and gripping my hand tightly. It had all been a huge mistake.

"I'm sorry, Bella..."

I couldn't move. The excruciating pain had faded and I couldn't feel anything at all. So this was how I would die, in the end. It wasn't how I had imagined all this time. It wasn't how I had planned.

I wanted to turn my head. I wanted to tell her to stop crying over me. I wanted to tell her to just go ahead and do it. My vision began to blur and my heart beat dully in my chest. Faintly, softly. It would soon stop.

She seemed to hear this; the sound of my heart was becoming ever more faint. I watched her hesitate as darkness began to close around me. _Do it!_

She raised my wrist to her mouth and her gleaming teeth sunk in to my skin. Searing hot pain, like electricity, shot up from my wrist and through my arm, filling my body. But I had no more life in me to cry out. The smell of fresh blood – my own blood – perfumed the air thickly with the scent of rust and bitter salt. An immense wave of nausea washed over me and everything became black.

...

I was in Hell and my body was burning.

I was burning for my sins. I was burning for lying to and hurting Charlie. For deserting Renee. For stringing Jacob along when I knew that he was hopelessly in love with me.

I burned for hurting everyone I loved, everyone I cared for, including Edward, Alice, Esme—of all of them. Putting them all in danger and risking their lives. I was now paying for my selfishness and stupidity. The pain was never ending and my mind drifted into unconsciousness as I tried to make it go away, no matter how much I knew that I deserved it.

I slipped into an empty darkness; there, I dreamed. And in my dream, I awoke.

I was back home. The morning sun was streaming through my bedroom window. It was a rare sight and I pulled back the lace curtains, yellowed with age, to glance outside.

The sky was blue and the sun was shining. Grabbing hold of the cold, metal latches, I unlocked them and slid the window open. It moved silently, effortlessly.

I breathed in the fresh air. There was a hint of freshly cut grass, orange blossoms and recently fallen rain. Damp trees and leaves and soil.

I put my head back inside, revelling in the dim, cool light of my bedroom. Then I realised, as I looked around, that every surface was covered in an inch-thick layer of dust.

I frowned. How much time had passed since I'd been here? I hadn't noticed it before, but my bedroom smelt musty with dust, as if it had been closed off for years – decades.

With one finger, I wiped the dust off the window sill and examined it. I could see each speck and, like snowflakes, they were different in shape to each other. Not one speck of dust was alike. I brushed my fingers clean against my jeans and glanced around my room, as if taking in the details for the first time. A faded purple quilt covered the double bed. Pale blue walls and a wooden, overflowing bookshelf stood opposite. I moved closer, searching for a particular book, a favourite of mine.

It was wedged between Jane Austen's Pride and Prejudice and Henry Fielding's The History of Tom Jones. I pulled it out and flipped it open, the pages grainy against my fingers, and chose a random sentence from the page on which I had opened. I read aloud, under my breath, and the words filled my ears and my head, unsettling me.

"_Your cold blood cannot be worked into a fever; your veins are full of ice water. But mine are boiling and the sight of such chillness makes them dance."_

Coldness settled in my bones and my stomach as I finished the passage. My heart began to beat faster and my breaths quickened and I clutched my chest, convinced that if I squeezed my middle hard enough, I would calm down. But I didn't. My heartbeats became erratic and unpredictable, beating once, stopping and then beating twice and once again and stopping. It felt like I was falling apart and a cry escaped my throat. Each beat became stronger and more painful, thrumming non-stop for a moment before becoming completely still and I fell to my knees, raising clouds of dust around me. I clenched my teeth and squeezed my eyes shut, willing my heart to be still.

But there was only pain. I cried out again as I tried to push it away, my tortured voice strange to me as it bounced off the walls.

There was one last painful constriction, like a stab in my heart with a sharp, cold dagger, and I gritted my teeth harder as the pain seeped through my chest and splintered out into my arms and legs. Then it seemed to release itself from my fingertips and toes in invisible waves and in its place, a deep calm filled my body and my muscles finally relaxed. My heartbeat became steady once more. The familiar burning began to seep back in as my dusty, old room faded away and the darkness returned yet again It wasn't as strong now, licking only my hands and my feet. It was almost over.

I tried to move, only to realise that I hadn't yet awoken. I was drifting in between the stages of dreaming and consciousness; I was aware of people whispering somewhere nearby and the strong scent of sweet almond and honey. I breathed in as the burning faded from my fingertips and I sighed.

The pain was gone and my nightmare was behind me. I knew it would be safe if I opened my eyes, and I wondered what I would see now, of what had become of me.

Slowly, very slowly, I awoke.

The first thing I saw was the high, white ceiling. I noticed the grain of the plaster and the strokes of the white paint that covered it. Light flooded the room, but my eyes didn't need to adjust. I was lying in bed, amongst the golden sheets that I had taken with us from Forks – mainly because they reminded me of the colour of Edward's eyes.

I sat up, wondering how long I had been out for. I held my hands up to my face, examining them. The tone of my skin was always pale, so I couldn't honestly tell whether or not I had fully changed, or whether I had become like Emiline.

I frowned, concentrating on my body and how I felt. The first thing I noticed was that there was no thirst. I thought that I would have an uncontrollable thirst for human blood that would drive me to slaughter the small population in this town. Emmett and Jasper had even been taking bets on it. But there was only incredible hunger in my stomach. The second was that I was still breathing and my heart was still beating, albeit slightly faster and stronger. I breathed in, recognising the scent of freshly washed linen, lavender, and that of coming rain. The third was that I felt absolutely incredible.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and jumped up. It was amazing; my energy seemed to be boundless and there was a sudden joy in me as I rushed towards the mirror. When I saw my reflection, my eyes bulged and I gasped. I hardly recognised the person standing before me.

My skin was not pale as I would have expected, but a creamy white with rosy pink cheeks and red lips. My eyes glinted a deep, warm brown and my hair fell in shiny, brown soft curls past my shoulders. And there was something else; I seemed to radiate health and vitality and I was reminded of Emiline as I examined my reflection. Often I had seen her and thought the exact same thing.

I knew that all vampires, after changing, became pale and beautiful; everything about them served to attract their prey. It seemed that Emiline's ability had given me the best of both human and vampire qualities and I was astounded that I had been able to have the same.

I held up my wrists. On my right, there still remained the pale half-moon scar that James had inflicted on me. On my left, there was a second half-moon scar, the one that had saved me. I put my wrists together and the scars connected to make a full circle. I smiled.

I heard a sharp intake of breath and whirled around.

Edward stood in the doorway, his eyes on me. I melted as my eyes drank him in, his tall, lean frame and athletic build, his pale white skin, full lips and streamlined nose. His copper hair was stylishly wild and his eyes swirled amber and gold, seeming to melt as he looked at me. He opened his mouth to speak, but no words came.

I rushed towards him, placing my finger against his lips. They were still cold. I regarded him for a moment longer before pulling him against my body, holding him tightly. He wrapped his arms around me in response, his hands on the back of my neck. I kissed his throat, working my way up to his mouth.

He finally spoke, his voice soft and trembling. "I can't believe it."

I looked up at him. There was an elation in his expression, of such pure joy that he seemed almost frightened – or was an intense, burning thirst that he was repressing? His brows knotted and he took my hands in his, pressing them against his chest. "This is all I could have ever dreamed of. You're so _beautiful_, Bella! And your _scent!_"

With a sudden movement, he pulled me against him, his stone cold arms around my torso, and breathed in. "I had described it before as my own personal brand of heroine...what's stronger than heroine?"

I hesitated. What did he mean?

"Your scent is so much more intoxicating, it's like...just to smell you, I tremble."

His cold lips were suddenly on mine as he kissed me hard, passionately. I felt his tongue in my mouth, curling against mine and I pulled him closer against me, my heart racing and my body growing hotter. I ran my hands under his shirt, smoothing them over his cold, marble back. Like cool silk. I shivered, sighing as he pulled away and ran kisses down my throat, over my neck and down my chest. I clutched the back of his neck, twisting my fingers in his soft, bronze hair.

He stopped, exhaling and the sweetness of his breath was intoxicating. I felt his cold arms around me and he held me closely. We stayed like this for a few minutes before he began to speak again, his voice soft and haunted. "I thought I'd lost you, Bella. I was terrified."

I lifted my hand to cradle his cheek and looked into his eyes. "I'm here now. And I'm still alive."

Edward put his hand over mine, closing his eyes and sighing. He smiled, as if in relief. "It's over now. Jeremy's dead."

My eyes flickered. "What happened?"

His face darkened and his eyes tightened as he looked away. "It was my fault. I succumbed so easily to his power; when I realised what had happened, I drove as fast as I could from the hospital. I'd just missed you.

"I began to follow your scent, but it was lost. It must have been Sandra. I began to listen to all the thoughts around me, and then Alice called me.

"She'd had a vision of you following Jeremy through the forest. She said you were near the river, so I followed it. I knew I'd come close when I began to hear Emiline's thoughts. I realised that I'd come too late to save you.

"Bella..." he lifted his eyes to look at me and they were full of pain and regret. "I'm so sorry."

I took his head in my hands as I spoke. I could hardly bear to look into his eyes to see the sorrow and anger there, but I forced myself. I regarded him earnestly. "Don't be sorry, Edward. I'm here now."

He was silent.

"What happened to Emiline? And Josephine, Alice and Jasper?" I asked. "And how's Jacob?"

"They're downstairs. And Jacob..." he trailed off nervously, glancing away from me.

I frowned, my blood running cold at the thought that Jacob something had happened to him. "What, what is it?"

"Jacob imprinted."

My jaw dropped. "What?! With who?"

"Betty."

My eyebrows shot up. "How is that possible? They've never even met!"

"Betty and Helena came over to check up on you yesterday, unannounced. They knew you had the flu after Dartmouth Night." Edward said. "That's when it happened."

I was stunned. I realised that I was shaking my head in disbelief. I was happy for him, but there was something else there...a feeling of slight jealousy. _My _Jacob, my personal sun, who had told me he loved me. The one who had kissed me and made me realise that I really did love him – but not enough. I scoffed inwardly; it would never be enough. I was being stupid and selfish, yet again. He could no longer be my Jacob, now that this had happened. I was changed, and he'd imprinted. In a way, I was free – I didn't need to worry about hurting him or stringing him along – and at that thought, my heart lifted.

Edward was staring at me. "I thought you'd be happy."

I realised I'd taken a moment for this silent debate and I smiled at him assuredly. "Of course I am – but I bet you're happier."

"I'm ecstatic." Edward said, kissing my lips softly. "I always that it would only be a matter of time before he did. Even if I'd stayed away and you were with him, I knew that one day he'd leave you. I didn't think it'd be so soon."

There was a soft rap on the door. I knew who it would be.

"It's okay." I called out, surprised to hear my own voice, like it was a stranger's. It was musical, smooth and sweet. I liked it.

"Oh my gosh, Bella!" Alice bounded in, her energy immediately filling the room. "This is amazing—and you're so beautiful!"

I smiled, my cheeks flushing. She giggled, pulling me into a hug in her cold arms and then cradled my head in her hands, looking into my eyes. I looked back inquisitively as she squealed in excitement.

"Jasper's been worried sick, he's been so nervous the past few days—but I knew everything would be fine!" Alice smiled.

Her eyes flickered to Edward all too briefly and his face became still. Their exchange passed as briefly as it came, in less than a second, before Alice's face broke into a glowing smile as she surveyed my new body.


End file.
